Friends for Youth

Mentor Tip of the Week

2012-01-27T12:40:00.000-08:00

Visit a college campus and take a tour if you can. Nearby, there's Stanford, Santa Clara University, College of San Mateo, and San Francisco State, just to mention a few. Explore and enjoy!

Mentor Tip of the Week

2012-01-19T14:11:00.000-08:00

Chinese New Year is soon approaching. January 23rd begins the Year of the Dragon. During this time, you could do some crafts or make a lantern together, find out your Chinese Zodiak sign, or plan to attend a parade or celebration. Learn to say Happy New Year in Mandarin or Cantonese. Have fun!

Thank You!

2012-01-13T13:52:00.000-08:00

Friends for Youth thanks the Bay Area Radio stations that have stepped up to promote national mentoring month through listings, public service announcements, and interviews. Special thanks goes to Live105 for running a National Mentoring Month recorded PSA, and to KBAY for featuring an interview with recruitment coordinator Jonathan Cowgill.

To all Bay Area radio stations that support Friends for Youth and mentoring, we salute you! Your work helps get more at-risk youth get matched with a lifelong friend.

This Wednesday is "I Am a Mentor" Day

2012-01-09T13:18:00.000-08:00

This Wednesday, January 11, Friends for Youth invites you to participate in national "I Am a Mentor" day. "I Am a Mentor" day is an opportunity to share your mentoring experience with your online social networks, in an effort to inspire others to get involved in mentoring.

This event is happening online, so no matter where you are you should be able to participate. Visit the I Am a Mentor Facebook Page for more Information!

Presidential Proclamation - National Mentoring Month, 2012

2012-01-02T17:22:00.000-08:00

BY THE PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA

A PROCLAMATION

Every day, mentors help young Americans face the challenges of growing into adulthood. By setting a positive example and sharing their time, knowledge, and experience, mentors play an essential role in preparing our Nation's youth for a bright future. During National Mentoring Month, we celebrate the contributions of all those who cultivate a supportive environment for the next generation, and we recommit to expanding mentorship opportunities across our country.

At school and at home, in the library and on the field, mentors lift our youth toward their goals and ambitions. As a teacher, a relative, or a trusted friend, a mentor's steady and dependable support can inspire a child to strive for success and instill in them the confidence to achieve their full potential. Mentorship strengthens our American family, and by teaching enduring values like diligence and self-discipline, we make a powerful and lasting investment in our youth, our communities, and our Nation.

Across the Federal Government, we are working to ensure more young people have the opportunity to connect with a mentor. Last January, we partnered with businesses across America to launch the Corporate Mentoring Challenge, which calls on corporations to begin or expand mentoring programs that pair children with positive role models, foster leadership skills, and put them on the path to success in school and beyond. As part of our steadfast commitment to support our service members and their loved ones, we are funding new mentorship opportunities for children from military families. And we are continuing to engage faith and community groups to help recruit mentors who can guide our youth in education, employment, and engaged citizenship. For information and resources about mentoring opportunities, I encourage all Americans to visit: www.Serve.gov/Mentor.

By lending a hand and serving as a mentor, countless individuals have empowered young Americans with the confidence, inspiration, and tools to lead rich and fulfilling lives. This month, I encourage adults to make an investment in our Nation's future by helping a child discover the best in themselves.

NOW, THEREFORE, I, BARACK OBAMA, President of the United States of America, by virtue of the authority vested in me by the Constitution and the laws of the United States, do hereby proclaim January 2012 as National Mentoring Month. I call upon public officials, business and community leaders, educators, and Americans across the country to observe this month with appropriate ceremonies, activities, and programs.

IN WITNESS WHEREOF, I have hereunto set my hand this twenty eighth day of December, in the year of our Lord two thousand eleven, and of the Independence of the United States of America the two hundred and thirty-sixth.

BARACK OBAMA

Spotlight Friendships

2011-12-22T14:41:00.000-08:00

Lu and Devin have enjoyed a variety of activities during their year together. They’ve had a terrific time getting to know each other through the many fun activities in which they’ve participated. They attended Friends for Youth sponsored activities such as the Automotive Shop Tour. They also used free tickets to go see the circus. Lu and Devin found the Life Skill Workshops to be helpful and attended two of them: Know Your Rights on police encounters and the Anti-bullying workshop. Being that they both live near the coast, they spent much of their time out in the salty sea air hiking or exploring the local piers. They have built a wonderful and unique Friendship that neither of them is ready to part with. They will continue being friends and hanging out regularly!

Anna and Ashley were matched last December. Both agree that being a Senior and a Junior Friend was a different experience than what they expected because it was much better than what they expected! Anna and Ashley really like hanging out and spending time together. They have shared many laughs together and will continue to in the future. Anna and Ashley attended many Friends for Youth activities including the Tile Making activity, which was their first activity together and occurred only a few weeks after they were matched. They also attended the Jump Sky High activity and liked it so much that they later attended one of the center’s classes on their own. Anna and Ashley also received free tickets to different performances and attractions, including Stars on Ice and Alcatraz. Anna mentioned at their One Year Friendship Anniversary meeting, “My favorite activity was… there were a lot of good activities so it’s really hard to choose,” and Ashley completely agreed!

Celebrate National Mentoring Month through Social Media

2011-12-20T10:15:00.000-08:00

From the organizations supporting National Mentoring Month - Harvard School of Public Health, MENTOR: The National Mentoring Partnership, and the Corporation for National and Community Service - this January's campaign will feature a new social media strategy designed to focus national attention on the need for mentors. The campaign is set up as a Facebook event called "I Am A MENTOR" for January 11 and will be concentrated on a one-day call to action for mentors to post their stories and invite others in their network to join.

Check out and join the event here.

Join with youth mentors and mentoring programs around the country January 11, 2012, and help inspire others to learn about mentoring and how they can make a difference in the life of a child. Ways to help support this campaign:

Share this event page with other mentors, mentoring programs, and supporters of mentoring.
In January, change your profile picture to the “I Believe in Mentoring” badge (a link to access the badge will be provided soon).
On January 11, post your experience about being a mentor. Here is some sample messaging you can use: Did you know I am a mentor with [program]? Being a mentor to [first name of child] is rewarding and has helped me to [have fun, make a difference, learn new things, be a better parent, gain a better understanding of other cultures, etc.]. You can make a difference in as little as an hour a week. Find a mentoring opportunity in your local community today at www.serve.gov/mentor
Be sure to tag your program in your posts so people can learn more about the program where you mentor.
Feel free to post comments and suggestions on this page so other mentors can learn how you are promoting mentoring during National Mentoring Month.

For more ideas on how to use social media strategies to promote National Mentoring Month, be sure to check out our latest webinar, Social Media + National Mentoring Month = Opportunity. There, you'll find 12 Tips for 2012 to use in January and throughout the year to recruit more mentors, find more funding, and engage with your community about the importance of mentoring!

And be sure to register for our two new webinars coming up in January: Learning from Mistakes: Strengthening Youth Safety with Research-Based Screening Practices and Cropping the Big Picture - Determining What the New Meta-Analysis Means for Your Mentoring Program.

Announcing Our New Facebook Causes Campaign!

2011-12-07T11:30:00.000-08:00

As part of our Annual Campaign, for a short time you and your Facebook friends can donate through our Friendship Facebook Cause. We are hoping to make many more matches like yours, and we can do this if everyone chips in a little bit.

You can help us in three ways:

DONATE
"LIKE" our Cause or add a comment to help us create visibility
Tell a Friend! Click "Share" and tell your Friends about donating to our Cause. All donors will be able to see exactly what their money is going towards!

Thank you so much for your support,

Friends for Youth

Introducing Our New Intern!

2011-12-05T11:19:00.000-08:00

Hi, my name is Jenna, and I’m a high school student. My favorite classes are English and History. School is very important to me and I spend almost all of time during the week at school and doing my homework. I hope to attend a UC in Southern California for all 4 years of college, although I am not yet sure of what I would like to major in.

I have played many sports, including track, swimming, basketball, and soccer. My favorite sport has always been soccer and I have played for 11 years. My worst habit is procrastinating. During my free time on the weekends, I usually spend most of the time with my friends and some time with my family. I like to watch movies, go shopping, and go to San Francisco. I love spending holidays with my family. I also like to watch TV and movies; my favorite show is Desperate Housewives and my favorite movie is Pirates of the Caribbean. I listen to most types of music except for rock and metal and I like to sing and dance but I’m not very good at either.

Fashion Show Fundraiser Moving to Spring

2011-11-28T15:43:00.001-08:00

Nordstrom Palo Alto is remodeling, so our Fashion Show Fundraiser will be in March, not December.

Save the Date for Sunday, March 25, 2012.

Response to Penn State Child Sex-Abuse Reports

2011-11-11T12:51:00.001-08:00

In response to the latest media reports regarding the child sex-abuse scandal involving Penn State’s former assistant football coach, Jerry Sandusky, Friends for Youth, Inc. would like to express our sorrow about the young men allegedly victimized and our disappointment at another preventable tragedy. Sandusky, charged with molesting eight boys over 15 years, with some of the alleged abuse taking place at the Penn State football complex, is now under scrutiny for years of child sexual abuse about which others knew but either did nothing or were not heard.

As a recognized leader in the field of mentoring we are unfortunately not surprised by these horrific events. The very nature of our business demands that we match volunteers with children, much like the Second Mile program. Vulnerable youth are encouraged to establish trust and break down natural barriers of caution creating the perfect opportunity for sexual abuse such as exactly what has been reported to have occurred with Mr. Sandusky.

Because there are those who look to exploit and victimize children under the auspices of a volunteer role, Friends for Youth developed, implemented, and promotes best practices, tools, and information to inform and educate any youth-serving organization about the potential for child abuse. Demand for information is such that we published a resource SAFE (Screening Applicants For Effectiveness); Guidelines for Preventing Child Molestation in Mentoring and Youth-Serving Organizations, a comprehensive guide to volunteer screening.

Unfortunately, child sexual abuse is an uncomfortable topic, especially in the male-dominated sports world. In our 32 years of serving at-risk youth, we have seen reports of this situation all too often: child sexual abusers offend multiple times and get away with it, even when someone knew about the abuse.

Friends for Youth is saddened by the alleged initial abuse perpetrated on at least eight boys by Sandusky and even more disappointed by the second offense, the culture of silence surrounding and protecting him. Many times in situations with child sexual abusers, people may notice something “off” or something “not right” but will then discount what they see and hear, especially when it involves those who are in positions of leadership. Our SAFE publication offers ways to prevent exactly this.

The primary duty of youth service providers is to care for the well-being, healthy development, and growth of children. It is vital that we are informed and educated on the inherent risks in the relationships we create. More information about SAFE and how Friends for Youth can help build awareness of this tragic issue in communities and youth-serving groups can be found on our website.

Happy Halloween from Friends for Youth

2011-10-31T16:07:00.000-07:00

We hope that mentors and mentees everywhere have a safe and fun Halloween. If you're not a mentor, learn more about mentoring at Friends for Youth. Bring a friend. We have over 48 boys and 19 girls who want a mentor on our waiting list. Don't wait. Make a difference in your community today.

Get Charles Schwab Cup Tickets and Support Friends for Youth!

2011-10-24T12:48:00.000-07:00

This is the last week you can buy tickets to the Charles Schwab Cup Championship! The tickets are $25, and three quarters of the proceeds benefit Friends for Youth.

The Charles Schwab Cup Championship is the final event in the year-long Champion’s Tour. The championship is held at TPC Harding Park. This is a first-rate tournament, featuring big names like Fred Couples, Tom Lehman, and Bernhard Langer. It’s also a first-rate opportunity to give to charity with the purchase of your ticket.

Learn More and Buy Tickets.

Mentoring World Loses An Advocate

2011-10-17T14:01:00.000-07:00

The past week or so has seen the passing of several important iconoclasts in our world, including Steve Jobs, who was relentless in his vision for Apple, and Al Davis, a passionate coach of the Oakland Raiders. Added to that list is a man who greatly influenced the field of youth development and mentoring, Peter Benson of the Search Institute.

When I first encountered the 40 Developmental Assets (now also offered as the 41 Developmental Assets, with one more asset related to cultural competency added by Project Cornerstone in San Jose), I was amazed at how right and simple the framework seemed to be. It made perfect sense and applied to our mentoring program, and the young people we work with, effortlessly. Since then, I have used this model in countless trainings for mentors, for program staff, and for funders. By giving mentors a concrete, achievable outcome, they can appropriately channel their desire to help in ways that actually help youth.

For more wonderful tributes to Dr. Benson, please read the Mentoring Partnership of Minnesota's blog. They were fortunate to work closely with the Search Institute and with Dr. Benson himself.

Thank you, Dr. Benson, for your relentless pursuit of helping young people achieve.

IBM grants Friends for Youth $500

2011-10-11T15:03:00.000-07:00

Friends for Youth would like to acknowledge IBM for contributing a $500 cash grant to the organization. Senior Friend Saba Deyhim, an IBM employee, took the initiative to connect Friends for Youth to this grant opportunity at her workplace.

Saba was matched with her Junior Friend Wendy more than a year ago, and they have since become really close friends. Wendy acknowledges that Saba has helped her through some hard times, and thanks her for “being there in [her] time of need.”

We thank Saba for being such and outstanding volunteer!

International Mentor Training

2011-09-12T14:55:00.000-07:00

The Mentoring Institute is back from six days of training an amazing group of caring professionals, teachers, and parents about mentoring in the Caribbean island of St. Maarten! Nicole Francis, the founder of Victorious Living Foundation, started her organization in 2002 and has been an attendee at several of our annual mentoring conferences. We have been trying to coordinate a special training for her mentors and other partners who work with youth in her area for several years and this past August, if finally happened. Thanks to the generosity of several key collaborators, VLF held a two-day Mentorship Symposium led by myself and another mentoring conference presenter and MI consultant, Stephanie Inyama. Through these two days, we addressed

the foundations of mentoring and related theories
Evidence-Based Practices, Promising Practices, and Recommended Best Practices
mentoring impacts and outcomes
positive youth development and youth culture
the needs of St. Maarten youth
a Community of Caring approach
mentor screening and monitoring
mentor training
program evaluation
mentoring activities
confidentiality and child abuse reporting
mentoring relationship closure

Additionally, on the third day, we held a community session at a local youth center, where several young people, both in the mentoring program and not currently enrolled, shared their thoughts on what life is like for them. Stephanie and I both agreed that this was an unusual training - participants truly seemed engaged and excited to move forward with a large-scale collaborative effort to better connect with and inspire a generation of youth facing numerous (and familiar) situations. Several participants shared during the training that they had forgotten their own memories of what it was like to be a young person and nearly everyone committed to doing more to change their community for the better.

I was truly inspired by the energy and enthusiasm of 150 adults in a small community - sometimes, that's all it takes. Thanks, VLF and St. Maarten for your hospitality and I look forward to seeing positive changes soon!

Thank you to the Friends for Youth community

2011-09-06T14:19:00.000-07:00

Thank you to everyone who spread the word about and/or donated to the Friends for Youth Groupon campaign last week! Without your support and enthusiasm we could not have crafted such a successful campaign. As always, we rely on the wonderful help of our volunteers and supporters to make all that we do successful.

And what a success our most recent campaign has been. The Friends for Youth Groupon Campaign raised more than $1500, an amount that was matched by a generous donor. This means we raised more than $3000 in only 3 days!

The money we raised will help us send a large group of Friendships on a snow trip to lake Tahoe. As you know, this will most likely be a first-time experience for most of the Junior Friends in our program. They will have the opportunity to strengthen their relationships with their Senior Friends, have lots of fun in a new place, and maybe discover a new hobby.

The Friends for Youth Groupon Campaign

2011-08-25T10:35:00.000-07:00

The Friends for Youth Groupon Campaign starts today!

You can help:

Go here to find the Friends for Youth deal.

With a SMALL donation you can make a BIG difference in the lives of young people in the Friends for Youth program.

Pledge $10 today, and all of your donation will go towards providing a fantastic activity opportunity for the at-risk youth in our program!

Thank You Morgan Stanley Foundation

2011-08-17T15:55:00.000-07:00

Friends for Youth recently received a generous donation from the Morgan Stanley Foundation on behalf of their employees (and Friends for Youth volunteers) Morgan Becker, Cira Nickerson and Greg Oates.

Friends for Youth appreciates the support. Without donations from caring partners, we would not be able to provide the unparalleled mentoring services that have made our name.

Friends for Youth and G-Team

2011-08-15T11:55:00.000-07:00

Friends for Youth is proud to announce that it will be the Featured Campaign on the daily deals site Groupon from August 30 to September 1!

Through this campaign, much more of the Bay Area will learn about what Friends for Youth does.

During this time Groupon subscribers and Friends for Youth supporters can donate to our cause through the Groupon site. We hope you can donate.

This is a fantastic opportunity for the Friends for Youth organization. With the money we raise we hope to send Junior Friends and their mentors on a ski trip to Lake Tahoe. For most of our Junior Friends, this is an unique opportunity. It is fair to say that almost all of them have never been skiing, and a good majority have never even seen snow.

Stay posted for more information as our campaign feature draws closer!

Note from our Executive Director and Board Chair

2011-08-11T17:08:00.000-07:00

August 11, 2011

Dear Friend,

You may have heard in the news recently that Friends for Youth experienced a burglary at our offices in Redwood City. As an important supporter of our agency, we want to inform you of the circumstances around this event and actions being taken.

First, the good news - the burglars have been caught and most of the items taken have apparently been recovered. We are grateful to the Redwood City Police Department for their quick action and responsiveness.

But here’s the irony. The burglars were four teenage boys. Two are 16 years old, one is 15, and one is 12. They were in no way associated with Friends for Youth (although perhaps they should be). They broke in at night using a crowbar when – thankfully – no one was in the office. They took an eclectic selection of items but those with the most value were three computers, cameras, and projectors. They also took lip balm, rubber bracelets and gum! Also ironically, the youth were surprisingly neat and respectful and did not disturb any papers or do any further damage.

We want to reassure you that all the confidential data regarding our mentors and mentees is housed on a secure server that was not touched, and there was no sensitive data on the computers that were taken. However, this incidence has underscored the need for further security and we are in the process of evaluating new data storage measures.

As you can imagine, an event like this is very unsettling to our staff whose passion is in helping youth exactly like these. The sense of violation coupled with frustration that these are the kind of youth we are trying to help is difficult to process.

We have offered counseling to our staff and are making sure we communicate and get together frequently. Our landlord has been very cooperative in reinforcing security with deadbolts and other deterrents.

As you know, Friends for Youth has served at-risk youth in our local community for 32 years. We have never had an experience like this before. Through this whole ordeal is the underlying wish we could help these youth and the many more like them who are at a crucial turning point in their lives. We have served over 1,800 youth – but sadly not these four. Perhaps we will have the opportunity to help them in the future.

Please feel free to call with any questions and thank you as always for your support.

Sincerely,

Becky Cooper

Executive Director

650-368-4464

Petere Miner

Board Chair

Profiles of Former Junior Friends: Jeff Day

2011-08-04T15:07:00.000-07:00

Jeff Day was matched in the Friends for Youth program nearly 15 years ago with Senior Friend Bob Lupient. They first met in October of 1996, when Jeff was 12.

At that time, Jeff recalls, he didn't know how to be a good student. How things have changed.

Now 27, Jeff recently dropped into the Friends for Youth offices on his way to a college seminar. He sat down with this staff member to reflect on his mentoring experience. “Before I was matched I wasn’t into [mentoring]; I thought I was too cool,” he said. “Now I think it was one of the best things my parents could have done for me. Once I met Bob for the first time I saw he was really cool and I wanted to hang out with him every week.”

Bob and Jeff had a fantastic Friendship. During their year they went snowskiing and waterskiing. They went to baseball games and they went hiking. Through these activities Jeff learned some important skills. Reflecting on the Friendship, Jeff said “Bob taught me some basic, important lings. Like, he taught me how to shake hands. And when I said something inappropriate, he’d tell me why it was inappropriate, and he’d show me how I should act.”

Indeed, much of what Bob exposed Jeff to had a lasting impact. “He took me to a gym for the first time and showed me how to work out,” Jeff said. “Now I work at a gym.”

Jeff is now also working at getting his college diploma. He is set to graduate from Notre Dame de Namur University in Belmont this fall, with a degree in Human Services. In addition to school, he works full time at Powerhouse Gym in Redwood City to support his education.

He also volunteers. When it was time for Jeff to do some community service for a college class, the first place he went was Friends for Youth. Jeff dropped in a few days each week for more than a month, completing any and every task asked of him. After he'd completed the required number of service hours for his class, he continued to help out, even speaking about his experiences at various mentor recruitment events.

When asked what his career goals are, Jeff is unhesitant in his response. “My ideal job would be juvenile probation officer or police officer. I always felt like I wanted a job where I could work with people—something that was community-oriented.”

Note: Jeff’s former Senior Friend Bob now lives in Placerville, CA. The two Friends keep in touch via Facebook.

Congregational Outreach Thank You

2011-08-02T16:03:00.000-07:00

Friends for Youth would like to thank all the congregations who recently allowed us to pass out our flyers to their communities, including Tapestry Church, Peninsula Covenant Church, and St. Peters' Episcopal. Recently Friends for Youth has reached out to a variety of local congregations, in an effort to inform more people of the wide variety of mentoring opportunities. If you are part of a congregation and think you could help distribute Friends for Youth fliers, please contact Jonathan@friendsforyouth.org

By James Fredericksen

Friendship Fun Around the Bay

2011-07-28T10:47:00.000-07:00

Friends for Youth organized two activities this past week, and they were both marvelous successes!

Almost Eden Community Garden Volunteer Project
Five Friendships got up early Saturday morning to smell the roses. The Almost Eden Community Garden in Palo Alto is a beautiful space full of flowers, vegetables and, unfortunately, weeds. At 9am it was the task of the Friends for Youth crew to banish these pesky plants from the otherwise pristine plot.

Program Coordinator Maribel Zarate organized the event. "Everyone was very tired by the end, but it was so much fun!"

To learn more about the Almost Eden Community Garden, visit http://www.almosteden.org.

Friends for Youth at ABC7 Live
At the ABC studios on the corner of Embarcadero and Green streets in San Francisco, Friends for Youth Friendships and staff gathered to be part of the on-screen "voice box" for the ABC7 Live television show.

The show, hosted by Brian Copeland, engages people in live conversations about everything from pop-culture to politics. Members of Friends for Youth sat in the audience section of the set where they clapped and cheered every time the show returned from commercials. It was a new experience for everybody.

See the Friends for Youth version of the show here!

2011 Summer Institute on Youth Mentoring Update

2011-07-18T14:47:00.000-07:00

"Everyone who works with youth should be mentor-like." This quote from Summer Institute on Youth Mentoring Research Fellow Roger Jarjoura is starting off our week of interacting with both researchers and practitioners, definitely in the right direction. This year's sessions focus on the mentoring of youth involved with child welfare or juvenile justice systems. Other Research Fellows include Tim Cavell, Sarah Geenen, Michelle Munson, Julia Pryce, Heather Taussig, and SIYM Director Tom Keller. The 30 participants and eight National Partner representatives (including myself) will be joined for a special Friday session by Kym Ahrens, Jeffrey Butts, Leslie Leve, Laurie Powers, and Renee Spencer to complete a week of incredible research and discussion.

So far, I'm pleased to say I'm engaged and intrigued by the beginning talks about frameworks, challenges, and recommendations. My list of proposed changes and implementation items is already started!

Look for more reviews about the 2011 SIYM soon.

At the Game

2011-07-08T12:12:00.000-07:00

Friends for Youth had a sun-kissed waitlist activity on Wednesday, June 6^th in Oakland. Seven boys waiting to be matched with mentors relaxed under the east-bay sun and watched the Oakland Athletics defeat the Seattle Mariners during a noon game at Oakland Coliseum.

“Waitlists are a great opportunity for unmatched youth in our program to get a sense of the kinds of activities they will do when they are matched,” said Program Director Rebecca Duran. “We are grateful to the A’s organization for providing us with these tickets.”

Activities like the Oakland A’s game also allow staff to get to know potential Junior Friends better, which is an enormous benefit when it comes time to finding them a compatible match.

4 Steps to Inspire Youth to Look Up to You

2011-06-24T10:53:00.000-07:00

As a response to our new 2011 Summer Mentoring Challenge, I thought I would add a few words on how to be a great role model if you aren't able to join us as a mentor in our program here in San Mateo and Santa Clara Counties.

1. Know Youth According to Positive Youth Development theory, young people need to be seen as resources instead of the problem for their ongoing development into healthy, happy, and productive young adults. Practically, this means turning to them to help solve issues and listening - REALLY listening - to their solutions. For many adults who were raised in the deficit model, it can be a challenge to reframe our own thoughts about "kids today." A teenager who may have been labeled BOSSY can also be thought of as a LEADER. Someone who is SHY or QUIET can also be identified as INNER DIRECTED or THOUGHTFUL. Starting with this way of thinking and interpreting young people is most helpful in the third step of building the relationship in order to have positive impacts.

2. Get Involved There are many ways to get to know children and youth today. Formal programs offer the most structure and support, as well as more assurance that your efforts are both safe and effective. For a directory of mentoring programs in the San Francisco Bay Area, check out Bay Area Mentoring. For a directory of mentoring programs across the country, check out MENTOR's listings. When you are working with a program, make sure that they have all the necessary steps in place to screen and assess both you as a volunteer as well as the youth served.

3. Build the Relationship Consistency, consistency, consistency is key to developing a connection with any youth. Don't make promises you can't keep - in fact, it's easiest if you just don't make promises. Many young people in programs are there partially because they've experienced many previous failed relationships with other adults who've made promises that weren't kept. Instead, remember that you're the adult and that you can inspire trust by saying what you mean and meaning what you say through your actions more than your words.

4. Encourage Sparks! Our June webinar focused on Sparks, the new theory from the great folks at the Search Institute. Sparks is the idea of a special quality, skill or interests that lights us up from the inside; a source of passion that when expressed, gives us joy and energy; our very essence, the thing about us that is "good and beautiful, and useful to the world." Helping a youth identify his or her own spark is a gift and can make a positive impact for many years to come. Remember that a spark doesn't necessarily turn into a career choice - many adults still love to sing, but prefer to stay in the shower instead of up on stage!

However you decide to inspire a young person to look up to you, please take action now! There are many opportunities to connect, no matter where you live, and many more youth who are waiting for a positive adult role model to inspire them. Make this summer count - become a mentor!

Update on the 2011 Summer Mentoring Challenge

2011-06-16T15:55:00.000-07:00

Friends for Youth’s new 2011 Summer Mentoring Challenge is off to a marvelous start. After being launched in early May, the Mentoring Services department has seen an increase in the number of interested volunteers. Friends for Youth is excited about this trend and hopes to build upon it for the duration of the summer months.

Due to the increased interest in mentoring, Friends for Youth is excited to announce the addition of two special Information Sessions that will be held at the Silicon Valley Community Foundation in San Mateo during the months of July and August.

These additional Information Sessions, along with promotional activities like bookmark distribution at bookstores, flier postings at corporations, and brand-new public service announcements, serve as the foundation of the 2011 Summer Mentoring Challenge campaign.

Keep an eye out for upcoming mentoring recruitment promotions featuring the slogan “Who Looks Up To You? Be a Mentor.”

Meet James Fredericksen, our Summer Intern

2011-06-06T14:08:00.000-07:00

Hi, my name is James Fredericksen, I currently attend Willamette University in Salem, Oregon, and am probably going to major in History, and minor in Art History, but as of now I am undeclared. I went to Menlo-Atherton High School, and grew up in Menlo Park. I played quite a variety of sports growing up, everything from soccer and basketball, to fencing and water polo. The sport I played the longest was tennis, although I never really was very good.

Perhaps my worst habit is reading, I only sometimes read a book during the day time, but at night, I will pick up a book and lay down and suddenly its 2 or 3 in the morning, and I have to know what is going to happen in the next chapter. My favorite book genre is Sci-fi and Fantasy, especially the Dresden Files, the Belgariad, and Mortal Engines, along with quite a few others unmentioned. My love of reading is due, in part, to having read too many of the Redwall series as a child. As a result of all of this reading, I found myself landed in an internship at Kepler’s Books.

In my free time, I find myself either reading, or with friends doing a wide variety of things that can only be described as “hanging out”, or, admittedly, playing computer games. Other things I like doing are hiking and juggling, although regrettably not at the same time.

Another love of mine is listening to music, everything from country to electronic to metal. I was raised on rock and a bit of country with artists like Warren Zevon, John Prine, and Bruce Springsteen. One of my biggest pet peeves is when someone keeps switching songs halfway through the song, which kills the experience of the music. As Shakespeare said, “If music be the food of love, play on”. Once I find a song or a band that I really like, I have a habit of listening to that one song or band for sometimes weeks at a time until I either find a new band, for example Mad World, by Gary Jules. Some of my favorite bands are The Cat Empire, Counting Crows, Dark Tranquility, Coultan, Kamelot, Nightwish, and Pendulum with a wide range of other bands and songs.

I hope you enjoyed hearing just this little bit about me!

10 Years of Friendship Portraits from the Gap!

2011-05-25T15:46:00.000-07:00

This week marks two milestones in Friends for Youth history as well as my own history with Friends for Youth. Last Saturday, we held our tenth annual Gap Portrait Day for Friendships. Darren Ferriera, a senior photographer with Gap, Inc., once again volunteered his services and the studio provided the space and equipment to create incredible portraits of our Senior and Junior Friends.

These images are not only important records for each Friendship but they also help us tell our story about the importance of mentoring relationships and how easy it is to be a mentor - can't you just see how much fun they're having together?

Monday marked my own tenth anniversary working at Friends for Youth. In 2001, I was hired as a Program Coordinator and spent the next four years working directly with our Senior and Junior Friends, their families, and referral agents. Six years ago, I became Program Director for our Mentoring Institute, where I share what we've learned and combine it with the latest research and Best Practices, delivering webinars, resources, trainings, an annual mentoring conference, and coalition support to programs nationally and internationally.

I hope the photographs express the care, concern, hope, and connection each of our mentors and mentees share with each other. It's been my driving motivation for improving mentoring relationships in all programs for the past 10 years!

Peninsula Golf Challenge

2011-05-16T08:52:00.000-07:00

Our 24th Annual Peninsula Golf Challenge will be held at Sharon Heights Golf and Country Club on October 3rd. It's a first class event, a beautiful club, and a fabulous course. Our biggest fundraiser of the year, the day includes 18 holes, lunch, dinner, and live and silent auctions. Please visit our golf page to learn more, if you'd like to be a sponsor (Tee Sponsors are $200, Title Sponsorship is $25,000 and there are more in between.), or if you'd like to donate something for the auctions--hotel and restaurant gift certificates are always popular. You can also register online. We're looking forward to it and hope you can join us!

2011 Beach Extravaganza!

2011-05-09T12:59:00.000-07:00

THE BEACH EXTRAVAGANZA WAS SO FUN!

Saturday, at Half Moon Bay State Beach, Friends for Youth gathered with many of its Friendships for a celebration of the beginning of summer.

There were delicious tamales, succulent watermelons, sweet cupcakes, devourable s'more cookies, addicting chips, a lovely homemade mango salsa, and three kinds of potato salad. The sixteen friendships that came ate. A lot.

To accompany all the food there were games, all sorts. Many Junior and Senior friends tried their luck with kites. The wind was strong and favorable, so the kites flew long and high. There were also board games like Jenga and Chinese Checkers, as well as soccer balls, kick balls and frisbees. The highlight of the Extravaganza, however, was a scavenger hunt.

The Beach Extravaganza Scavenger Hunt, devised by Maribel Zarate and Jonathan Cowgill, consisted of four major stages. First, Junior Friends paired up with their Senior Friends for a three legged race. Next, the Junior Friends competed in a sack race. After they completed the sack race, the Senior Friend had to answer a math question. A correct answer bought the pair a plastic egg with scavenger hunting instructions inside.

To the victors the spoils. Friendships got their pick of prize depending on how they placed in the scavenger hunt. Every Junior Friend received a prize!

Although the day started out cold and blustery, the sun came out for a while during the early afternoon, prompting a few Junior Friends to try their hand at fishing for kelp.

Summer 2011 Mentoring Challenge Announced

2011-05-02T11:17:00.000-07:00

The Summer 2011 Mentoring Challenge

Friends for Youth is announcing its Summer 2011 Mentoring Challenge, a campaign launching May 2 to recruit a substantial number of new mentors for at-risk youth in San Mateo and Santa Clara counties.

The Mentoring Challenge comes at a critical time. Friends for Youth has experienced a surge in the number of youth referred for mentoring services, and thus has nearly 80 young people waiting to be matched with a mentor who will spend time with them. These boys and girls are struggling at home, in the community, and at school. They demonstrate an intense need for a positive adult in their lives.

Who Looks Up to You?

The Mentoring Challenge will feature the campaign slogan “Who Looks Up To You? Be a Mentor.” The campaign asks all adults to consider the immense impact they could have on a young person in need, simply by sharing what they know. The campaign will be disseminated through print, online, social and traditional advertising media.

Friends for Youth has been creating quality matches between at-risk youth and adults who care since 1979. The organization serves youth ages 8 – 17 on the Peninsula and South Bay who demonstrate the need for a positive adult role model in their lives.

Mentoring is Fun.

Friendships have fun together weekly, playing board games, attending sporting events, eating out, and doing anything else they can think up. Mentoring is about having a good time with a good friend. To find out more visit www.friendsforyouth.org.

How to Help

We will be updating ways to help every few weeks. This week: Follow us on Twitter , and retweet Friends for Youth's tweets

Child Abuse Prevention Month Follow-Up

2011-04-28T17:17:00.000-07:00

As a wrap-up to April's National Child Abuse Prevention Month, I wanted to thank all of the over 250 mentoring and youth-serving program staff who supported this important issue by registering for and attending our two special webinars! If you missed the webinars, view the slides or watch a recording of the presentation.

The questions from both webinars really show that not only do youth professionals care about the safety of children and youth in their programs, they also have a high awareness of the problem and strategies to prevent child sexual abuse. I am increasingly impressed with the level of understanding and experience from youth mentoring programs. When I started our SAFE trainings just about six years ago, the majority of programs had a few steps in the application process, but, and more importantly, they were unaware of how to use the tools in order to really screen out inappropriate applicants.

Doing the job right, and not just doing the right job, takes more resources and staff time. But, as we say in closing our trainings, imagine your worst case scenario - could you look back on your process and defend your actions?

There's just two more days to take advantage of our special price on SAFE: 50% off the list price until Saturday, April 30th! Order online and enter "CAPMONTH" into the promo section while checking out.

Do what you can to prevent child abuse in your program!

Volunteer Appreciation Week!

2011-04-18T15:17:00.000-07:00

National Volunteer Appreciation Week has come to an end. At Friends for Youth, it’s been a time to celebrate.

Friends for Youth acknowledged National Volunteer Appreciation Week with a soiree at the British Bankers Club in Menlo Park on Tuesday night. All volunteers, including current and alumni mentors, board members and A Team members, were invited. More than thirty volunteers past and present showed up.

The annual event is an opportunity for Friends for Youth volunteers to meet each other, exchange stories, and deepen their connection to the organization. It is also Friends for Youth’s chance to celebrate all the people that have helped make it so successful for more than 32 years. Volunteers who attended received a certificate commending them for their service.

Food and drinks were provided. Especially delectable at the BBC are the very unhealthy onion rings, on which one staff member gorged himself. It was a time to celebrate.

New Grant for Friends for Youth

2011-04-12T15:17:00.000-07:00

Friends for Youth recently received approval for a grant for our Mentoring Services Education Enhancement Program from the David & Lucile Packard Foundation. We are pleased to have the support of another generous family foundation in making a difference in the lives of young people in our community.

Spotlight Friendship: Phil + Jeff and Katie + Elizabeth

2011-04-01T12:08:00.000-07:00

Congratulations to all our Friendships who recently completed their year together. Here we highlight two of their stories.

Phil and Jeff were matched in February 2010. They’ve had a terrific year! They came to many group activities such as:
• Kite Making Workshop
• Laser Quest
• Outdoor Movie Night
• Breaking the Cycle Life Skill Workshop
• We’re All Made Out of Stars Planetarium Visit
They also utilized free tickets offered by Friends for Youth to go to Alcatraz. Phil and Jeff attended our Fashion Show in 2010 and were “on call” to be part of our Friendship Panel. While they didn’t need to go on stage that day, we are looking forward to having them speak at a future event! They plan to stay in contact and continue their awesome Friendship!

Katie and Elizabeth also met in February 2010. They hit it off pretty much right away and came to tons of Friends for Youth activities, such as:
• Kite Making Workshop
• Laser Quest
• Outdoor Movie Night
• Breaking the Cycle Life Skill Workshop
They also attended our Fashion Show event and they utilized free tickets offered by Friends for Youth to go to Alcatraz and to see the Nutcracker Ballet. Katie and Elizabeth are so generous for allowing us to feature their Friendship in our One + 1 Newsletter, allowing others to learn about their experience in the program. They plan to stay in contact and continue their awesome Friendship!

Additionally, both Junior Friends Jeff and Elizabeth are excited to support their Senior Friends Phil and Katie, as they embark on their own special journey this year in starting their own family! Katie & Phil are married to one another and are now expecting their first child.

Why I Do This Work

2011-03-29T13:43:00.000-07:00

Originally for this blog post, I was going to focus on Child Abuse Prevention Month in April and our upcoming series of webinars addressing how effective screening and monitoring within a youth mentoring or youth-serving program is child abuse prevention, but then I noticed the new Friendship story on our home page. This short diversion of reading about Katie and Elizabether turned into re-reading all of the Friendship stories we have online and thinking about the mentors and mentees I've had contact with over the past almost 10 years. (Turned out to be a not-so-short diversion away from writing this, but I am glad I went with it.)

I've heard a few colleagues who work in similar kinds of programs recently express a sense of low morale and lack of enthusiasm in continuing to do this work. Maybe it's from the ongoing tough economic situation many of us are in, maybe it's a natural phase because we've been working in the same positions or within the same organizations for a significant amount of time, or maybe it's because it's been raining for what seems like months out here! Reading again about how our program has really changed lives reminded me about why I do this work - volunteer mentors may not understand their significance when they start a relationship with their mentees, but we see positive changes when the Friendship is consistent, strengths-based, and focused on fun. We see young people who start to think twice before they make a bad decision or who can begin to envision a future for themselves that may be different from everyone else they know. We also see adult mentors who learn to let go, be more patient, and remember what it's like to do something just to have fun.

Yesterday, I attended a Career Fair at Cisco for high school students from two different districts in our area. I am mentoring one student from this program, as well as helping teachers implement sound mentoring components (including training the other mentors), and they asked me to represent Friends for Youth in a Career Booth. Most of the students who approached me to talk about my career were truly interested in some kind of helping work and a few were just being polite or working with their friends. Clearly, I didn't have the same crowd appeal as the technology or financial companies, but I had more inquiries than in previous years and I got to see one of our mentees who was matched about 3 years ago, who is still in touch with his mentor! By the end of answering the same questions over three hours, I felt even more strongly about why I love doing this work: we help improve people's lives by supporting them as they establish and continue a mentoring relationship. We bring about positive change through relationships, not through a product or curriculum or course - it's all about something we do naturally as human beings and it can have longer lasting impacts than other interventions.

Clearly, it's not just any mentoring program or with just any youth and adult participants that can have these effects - and I am a huge proponent of solid infrastructures and research into why specific components work - but it reminded me that what we are working for is a simple thing: the impact of having an unrelated and unpaid adult every week ask a young person, "How was your day?" cannot be underestimated.

I hope you'll take a quick read through all of our Friendship stories to remind yourself why you're doing this work or why it's important to have positive relationships between adults and youth. Oh, and be sure to check out our upcoming webinars for Child Abuse Prevention Month!

Kiwanis Club in San Carlos

2011-03-21T14:17:00.000-07:00

I attended a San Carlos Kiwanis Club meeting last Monday, March 14th, to talk about Mentoring with its members. I brought with me former Junior Friend Jeff Day. Jeff was matched in the late 90s, and is currently finishing his undergraduate degree at NDNU in Belmont. Recently he has been helping Friends for Youth out in various capacities. At the Kiwanis Meeting Jeff spoke eloquently about his own experience in the program.

The Kiwanis Club Members were very receptive to Jeff and me. They gave us a mug full of candy as a gift! It is fantastic to meet so many concerned citizens in one place, and I thank the whole Kiwanis organization, and especially Kiwanis San Carlos for supporting community efforts that matter. Special thank you to Senior Friend Betsey Schneider for inviting Jeff and me.

Friendship photos & quotes

2011-03-15T14:40:00.000-07:00

“I am becoming more responsible and wanting to do better in school! Also, I would like to be a mentor too.” -a Junior Friend

“I realized that sometimes by just being there for people, you’re already helping them.” -a Senior Friend

“She has influenced me in a good way. Now, I try to do better in school, and everything else." -a Junior Friend

“I’m seeing life from a different perspective, realizing how many people there are out there, who don’t have the same family support and opportunities as I did.” -a Senior Friend

Thank You to Union Bank

2011-03-09T11:37:00.000-08:00

Last Monday, February 28th, Friends for Youth spoke to the Redwood City Branch of Union bank about Mentoring. Friends for Youth has been the recipient of generous donations from Union Bank in the past, and this meeting with branch staff marks a welcomed development in the two organizations' relationship.

If you know a bank whose staff wants to learn more about Mentoring, let Jonathan Cowgill know! He is always willing to speak about Friends for Youth, and can easily give a 5 or 10 minute presentation at an office before the doors open. You can contact him at 650-482-2867, or jonathan@friendsforyouth.org.

Does youth mentoring need government support?

2011-03-01T14:49:00.001-08:00

Recently, the House passed H.R. 1, a continuing resolution that will cut government programs by $100 billion for the rest of this fiscal year. If it becomes law, this drastic measure would impact many youth-focused federal spending streams, including

mentoring programs - Mentoring Children of Prisoners, YouthBuild, and Juvenile Justice programs;
all national service programs - AmeriCorps, VISTA, and Senior Corps;
job training programs - YouthBuild;
educational programs - Teen Pregnancy Prevention Community Grants, Teach for America, and 21st Century Learning Centers;
community-based health care;
child nutrition programs;
after-school programs;
and state grants for incarcerated youth.

Since the House passed H.R. 1, focus will now turn toward the Senate. Youth Today reports that, “Who delivers the message will also matter. It will likely fall to champions of youth programs in the Senate to hold the line on any spending.” In the next several weeks, we'll see how the two chambers will reconcile their differences. If you are on any youth mentoring or youth-serving program’s email list, you’ve been encouraged to let your Members of Congress know how important it is to protect programs serving at-risk youth and that current allocations are not even enough to serve this vulnerable population.

Last Friday, February 25, was Save Service Day where youth services advocates were advised to contact their representatives. If you haven’t already, contact the youth/children staff members in your Representatives’ and Senators' Washington, DC, offices. You can use a sample letter or sample talking points as a model (see examples from MENTOR or Big Brothers Big Sisters of America). Hopefully, programs across the country reached out (or will do so quickly) to make a major impact.

Why is this important? While a major criticism of federally-supported programs like Mentoring Children of Prisoners often heard is that grants create funding for a limited amount of time and then leave programs to find resources to sustain what they have built (and support the youth in whose lives they are now entwined), often unsuccessfully, continued federal funding of programs that support children is vital. In our current economic climate, community resources are stretched tight, too – individual donations are down and many state agencies and private foundations have been focusing on meeting basic needs, like shelter, food, and emergency services. When compared with these important issues, youth mentoring programs may seem incidental.

However, those of us who have worked in the field for at least a few years know that it is not. The care and support from a mentor can positively impact a youth’s outlook on their education, family and peer connectedness, and feelings of self-confidence and self-worth, while negatively impacting their involvement in risky behaviors and delinquency. The cost of prevention in dollars is insignificant compared to the costs of academic failure, intervention services, job losses, and community decline. With the support of federal funding streams, mentoring programs can keep doors open to provide transformational relationships to youth who need them most and rally further funding from their communities and networks of supporters.

Please use your voice today to help us continue supporting children and youth in our communities.

The Inaugural 'A' Team

2011-02-22T11:47:00.000-08:00

Last week Friends for Youth gathered the inaugural members of the Recruitment Advisory and Action Team, or 'A' Team for a groundbreaking session. This was a noteworthy meeting because its results will direct Friends for Youth to new avenues to explore in its 2011 recruitment efforts.

The A Team was formed specifically to recruit more mentors for youth-in-need. It is an ongoing and sometimes challenging task to recruit volunteers, and as Friends for Youth grows it needs new ideas for mentor recruitment. The A Team brainstormed new recruitment tactics and resources with an activity called Asset Mapping. Using this tool, brainstorming turned competitive and yielded a lively and productive session of critical thinking from all participants.

Members of the A Team have diverse backgrounds, but all are concerned community members who have long been champions of mentoring and Friends for Youth. The founding members are: Stacy Brown-Philpot, Lisa Chow, Kristin Hanley, Mike Havern, Mike Orazi, Paulette Savage, and Donna Vaillincourt.

Friends for Youth Turns 32!

2011-02-14T14:49:00.000-08:00

Friends for Youth was established 32 years ago today! We're very happy to celebrate over three decades of making quality mentoring Friendships for the youth who need them most. To date we have matched more than 1,800 youth with positive adult role models.

We want to thank all of our supporters, financial, volunteer and otherwise for making Friends for Youth a cornerstone of Peninsula communities for so long. We couldn't have done it without you, and we continue to value your support as we look ahead to the next 32 years!

A Big Thank You

2011-02-07T17:56:00.000-08:00

Friends for Youth would like to thank the companies that featured Friends for Youth volunteering presentations at their offices during National Mentoring Month. Oracle, Google, and Franklin Templeton Investments all gave Friends for Youth the opportunity to promote mentoring to their employees.

Each event was very successful. Friends for Youth discovered that, at each company, there is a culture of volunteering that is promoted, and employees were eager to get involved in good causes.

It was easy for the companies to set up these presentations: they only had to book a room, send out an announcement, and let the Friends for Youth presenters in on the day of the event.

If your company would like to host a lunchtime presentation at its offices, contact Jonathan at jonathan@friendsforyouth.org. We’ll be happy to come to you!

What a Wonderful National Mentoring Month!

2011-02-03T11:41:00.000-08:00

Wow! What an amazing January we just had for youth mentoring! In this blog, I'm going to highlight a few notable events.

Friends for Youth's 12th Annual Mentoring Conference, Share What You Know: Collaboration and Networking in Youth Mentoring, was held on January 27 and 28, 2011 at the San Mateo Marriott and Oracle's Conference Center. We had a record number of attendees - 270 over 2 days! - and the mood was incredibly upbeat and energetic. Mentoring professionals from across California, the country, and even from a few other countries participated in the pre-conference courses and workshop sessions with focus, commitment, and thoughtfulness. Thanks to the generosity of Friends for Youth supporters, we were able to raffle off 2 video cameras, an MP3 player, a Kindle, an iPad, and 30 copies of Stand By Me. We were all so impressed with the virtual presentation by Jean Rhodes, Ph.D., for our lunchtime keynote - she Skyped in from her home in Boston and even got to share how much snow was in her yard!

Friends for Youth also presented our inaugural Making A Difference Awards to six notable and remarkable supporters of our agency, youth mentoring, and youth in our community. We were delighted to have Congresswoman Anna Eshoo, Assembly Member Rich Gordon, Oracle's Giving and Volunteers, San Jose Police Department's Sargent Steven McEwan, Rick May, and Board member and mentor Judy Heyboer in attendance to accept their awards and share their enthusiasm for positive and supportive mentoring programs. We are lucky to have so many supporters to help us make 1,800 matches and provide services to 1,200 agencies across the globe. Special thanks to our conference supporters Oracle, the Center for Applied Research Solutions, and the Lucile Packard Foundation for Children's Health.

Sharing and collaboration were evident throughout all sessions. Kelly Belmonte, a guest presenter from Dare Mighty Things, writes about her experience on their new platform, In The Arena. The National Mentoring Center's Michael Garringer demonstrated how to use their online networking tool, Mentoring Forums, a website where youth mentoring professionals from all over the United States, Canada, and the rest of the world can share innovative program practices and tips on the art of mentoring. In one of the new Forum sessions, designed for participants to connect with each other and share their expertise over specific topics, one participant received immediate feedback from his peers about a complicated ethical situation in his program. It was impressive for me to hear the high level of thoughtfulness and consideration while we talked through the issue. I later heard back from this particular participant about how they resolved the situation - if you were in the session and want to know what happened, call me! Attendees were also excited to hear about the newly forming California Mentoring Partnership and the support from MENTOR we can expect to see soon.

Speaking of MENTOR, their first National Mentoring Summit held just two days before in Washington, D.C., was exciting and well-worth the 24-hour trip! Mentoring professionals from many statewide and national organizations were treated to an opening session in the Library of Congress' reading room and a keynote address from First Lady Michelle Obama, as well as a panel discussion with White House Cabinet members. As a provider of support to other programs and someone who relies on the latest research, I was thrilled to hear the announcement that the University of Massachusetts Boston will partner with MENTOR to form the UMass Boston/MENTOR Research Alliance, a first-of-its-kind institute that will support the advancement of youth mentoring efforts. Jean Rhodes, our keynote presenter, will be the Research Alliance’s first research director and hold the endowed chair for that position.

On a more local level, 70 mentors and mentees participated in two National Mentoring Month events through our partnership Bay Area Mentoring. First, we became the audience for ABC 7's 7Live television show on Monday, January 17, providing enthusiasm for mentoring and commentary on topical stories. On Sunday, January 31, 50 mentors and mentees were treated to not just a home court Golden State Warriors game, but also courtside seats during warm-up and a shout-out on the Jumbotron during halftime. Special thanks to ABC7 and the Warriors' Community Relations for these opportunities!

Even though National Mentoring Month has come to a close, we hope that you'll consider becoming a mentor to a young person or supporting a local program - as every speaker during January's events noted, young people need our support, guidance, and love now more than ever. If you don't think so, please read this blog from Stoked Mentoring's founder, Steve Larosiliere, from the beginning of January and you'll change your mind!

Friends for Youth at the Golden State Warriors this Sunday

2011-01-24T12:44:00.000-08:00

This Sunday the Golden State Warriors play the Utah Jazz, and some of our Friends for Youth mentoring Friendships are going to be there!

Bay Area Mentoring was given 50 tickets by the Warriors so that Friendships from mentoring programs around the bay could come to the game in celebration of National Mentoring Month. The group will be given an exclusive tour of the arena, the chance to watch the pre-game shootaround courtside and will be featured on the jumbotron at half-time!

7 and 1/2 Ideas to Recruit and Encourage Mentors During National Mentoring Month

2011-01-10T10:25:00.000-08:00

National Mentoring Month is the premier opportunity for any company, organization, or community group to help recruit mentors for Friends for Youth and celebrate mentoring. Please join us in the celebration and recruitment efforts! There are a myriad of ideas for how to engage and mobilize your company, organization, or group. Here are seven and a half of those ideas courtesy of Friends for Youth:

1. Invite Friends for Youth to your workplace or other gathering for a presentation. We are available to present to any interested group! Also, if you are already a Friends for Youth mentor or supporter, you can act as guest speaker. Many people are looking to fulfill New Year’s resolutions around this time, but need a little prodding--this is a great place to start.

2. Visit http://www.nationalmentoringmonth.org/g/nmm/powell-nation-of-graduates-30.mp4 to view the 2011 PSA for National Mentoring Month featuring General Colin Powell and then email the link to 10 local friends, coworkers, or relatives. Include Friends for Youth’s website www.friendsforyouth.org in your email.

3. Highlight Thank Your Mentor Day (January 25th). Acknowledge people who currently mentor and provide an opportunity in person or online for all to publicly discuss who mentored them in their lives.

4. Organize a group viewing of a mentoring-themed movie. Just about any recent Disney film will do including Up or Finding Nemo, or try Akeelah and the Bee or Duma, or pick a more serious film like The King's Speech.

5. Raise awareness at your place of work about paid company volunteer time. Many companies allow a given number of paid hours off to participate in certain volunteer activities or will provide matching grants based on your volunteer hours to the nonprofit where you are volunteering.

6. Put up National Mentoring Month posters in your offices.

7. Promote National Mentoring Month through your company's internal website. If you have a volunteering section to your intranet, highlight mentoring with Friends for Youth during January.

7 1/2. Contact Friends for Youth Recruitment Coordinator during National Mentoring Month at 650-482-2867 or jonathan@friendsforyouth.org for more ideas or assistance.

My Mentoring Story

2011-01-06T15:27:00.000-08:00

Board Member Stacy's Story:

“Have perspective. Personal relationships matter. Keep a sense of humor”. My mentor shared these three short statements with me a few years ago when I asked for advice on how to be successful in my first job leading a large operations team. Today, it sums up my leadership style.

For me, it all goes back to 5th grade. Anyone who knows me knows that my passion is mentoring middle school aged girls. This is because that was one of the most significant periods of change I experienced in my life. When I started 5th grade, I was sent off to a middle school that was not my neighborhood school. This meant that I had to make new friends and couldn’t carry my friendships from elementary school with me. This also meant that I was isolated from the friends in my neighborhood because they were going to the local school and having different experiences than my own. Being isolated and “the only one” that was bused to school was lonely at first and I was mad at my mom for forcing me into this situation. Over the years, I made new friends and received opportunities and experiences that others around me did not. Looking back, I am thankful for the hard choice that my mother made and grateful for her foresight in pushing me into new experiences so that I may have access to better opportunities.

And I haven’t looked back. My “dream job” is always one where I find myself faced with a big challenge and a high enough likelihood of failure that I have butterflies in my stomach almost all the time but if I am successful then the result is huge impact on the business. The mentors in my life have pushed me into these situations when I was sometimes afraid to go on my own. They have also helped me learn from my mistakes, pick myself up, and keep moving ahead. I remember Allan Cotrone who gave me my first performance review at the end of my first internship. I was 18 years old and my job was to refile a set of folders moving them from one filing cabinet to another. As a shy introvert, I completed my assignment diligently by myself and I did what I thought was an impeccable job. Expecting a glowing review, I was disappointed to learn that I did not meet expectations because I didn't work with the team, meet other people, and use all the resources available to me. Flying solo was ok but team work and collaboration was better. That was my first career lesson. I listened and I learned. I returned to the same company the next summer where I ended with a great review....and a lot of new friends too!

My life and career has taken a variety of twists and turns but at every intersection I’ve found a guiding hand to help make what turned out to be the right decisions. Surround yourself with people who will push the boundaries of what is possible and you will do the impossible.

Happy National Mentoring Month!

2011-01-03T13:04:00.000-08:00

Happy New Year and Happy National Mentoring Month! I am very excited to be starting the new year in celebration of a cause I feel deeply about. I wish every young person who would like to have a mentor could be connected to a positive and stable role model and experience a safe and effective mentoring relationship. And, I wish that every youth mentoring program had a waiting list of qualified and approved mentors, instead of a waiting list of mentees!

January 2011 is the tenth annual National Mentoring Month, a time each year when our nation spotlights the importance of mentors and the need for every child to have a caring adult in his or her life. Activities include a concentrated burst of national and local media activity - look out for those PSAs featuring General Colin Powell on your radio and TV - combined with White House and Congressional involvement and extensive community outreach to institutionalize the nation's commitment to long-term mentoring. National Mentoring Month efforts are spearheaded by the Harvard Mentor Project of the Harvard School of Public Health, MENTOR, and the Corporation for National and Community Service. Friends for Youth's Mentoring Institute, through Bay Area Mentoring, serves as lead local partner and the designated agency in the San Francisco Bay Area responsible for coordinating local campaign activities. We have 30 different mentoring agencies in 10 counties collaborating to ensure that the 6,400 children and youth served each year have supportive and transformative mentoring experiences.

President Barack Obama issued a proclamation designating January 2011 as National Mentoring Month. He stated, "Across our Nation, mentors steer our youth through challenging times and support their journey into adulthood. During National Mentoring Month, we honor these important individuals who unlock the potential and nurture the talent of our country, and we encourage more Americans to reach out and mentor young people in their community."

We hope you'll join the over 50,000 individuals across the country who responded to last year's National Mentoring Month campaign and get involved with a mentoring program like Friends for Youth. Mentors are needed now more than ever to motivate, inspire, and listen to young people lacking positive, stable adult role models. By showing up consistently, you can build a relationship that can last a lifetime and have tremendous impact on a young person. Help them get there - become a mentor today!

The Friends for Youth Holiday Ice Skating Party

2010-12-13T11:15:00.000-08:00

Imagine gliding on ice smooth as a windowpane, past a deep green fir tree, to a comfortable spot near a cozy brick fireplace.

This is not the idyllic scene of a lake in Northern Maine, nor of a January pond in Wisconsin. It is what you would have experienced at the Friends for Youth Holiday Ice Skating party, held Saturday, December 11th at the Winter Lodge in Palo Alto. Twenty-two Friendships attended, along with family, Friends and the entire Friends for Youth Staff.

Junior and Senior Friends brought their hats, scarves and mittens. They brought food for the potluck, including pastas, salads, dips, wraps, peppermint bark, sugar cookies, and hot cider. They each brought a present for the Friendship gift exchange. There were games and there was, of course, ice-skating on the impeccably zambonied rink. Everyone was very excited, and some people dressed festively. Junior Friend Josh wore a Santa Hat, and one mentor even wore snowpants for the event.

The Holiday Ice-Skating party is a tradition for Friends for Youth and the Friendships it serves. "It is always wonderful to see so many Friendships together at one event" said Mentoring Services Director Rebecca Duran.

"My favorite part was trying everyone's home made recipes!" Commented Program Coordinator Kristen Kimball.

For those Friendships who couldn't make it this year, remember the Holiday Party for next year! Both current and alumni Friendships are invited, and it is always a good time. Remember, you don't have to travel to the wintery states in order to ice-skate around a fir tree!

Fun, Fashion, and Friendship: The 4th Annual Friends for Youth and Nordstrom Holiday Fashion Show

2010-12-07T15:44:00.000-08:00

The 4th Annual Friends for Youth and Nordstrom Holiday Fashion Show was held Saturday morning, December 4th at Nordstrom in Palo Alto.

The event included a silent auction, baskets full of Christmas fare, little quiches to nibble on, skewers of fruit, mimosas, music, and a Christmas tree decorated with Friendship-made ornaments. In total, 112 participants showed up to support youth at risk of not reaching their full potential in the Peninsula and South Bay!

The show was organized and coordinated by the Friends for Youth board, chaired by Rob Inouye. The emcee for the event was board member Petere Miner, chair of the Fashion Show committee.

After everyone was settled in their seats surrounding the fashion runway, the program began with a panel discussion featuring the two mentoring Friendships of Will + Aureliano and Mariya + Selena. The discussion was emceed by Friends for Youth Program Coordinator Kristen Kimball.

Bringing the crowd a good chuckle, Senior Friend Will told everyone, "My favorite experience is probably just us going out to eat, I would say." Will and Aureliano have been matched for nearly two years. "It's a great learning experience" added Aureliano, referring to his involvement in Friends for Youth. "[It] will help you progress in life and become a better person."

Junior Friend Selena had kind words for her Senior Friend Mariya. "I really like how Mariya is always there for me," she said. "She's someone I can always go to for when I need help."

After the Friendships panel, the Fashion Show got underway! There were teenage styles, Women's Fashion, Men's Fashion and occasional beauty tutorials along the way. The hit of the show was, once again, Male Model Charleston, who sported a wide array of classy, debonair outfits.

The show was fun, and the time had come for the raffle prizes to be drawn. One prize, a foursome of golf, was donated back to Friends for Youth by the winner and auctioned off, finally going for $200!

Fashion show committee chair Petere reminded attendees that Friends for Youth's Fashion Show has become a vital source of support for the organization's work, adding "it is heartening to see both the growth in participation over the Show's four-year existence, and the way the event has turned into a tradition for many."

Friends for Youth hopes to see you there next year, and wishes you happy holidays this year!

Preventing Stress for Mentors and for Program Staff

2010-12-06T11:57:00.000-08:00

The holidays can become a stressful time for many people, as demands upon time, unfulfilled expectations from family, and a push to spend lots of money become overwhelming. Finding ways to prevent stress and burnout are crucial. Here are some suggestions:

For mentors, be thoughtful as you consider any gifts for your mentee. Your time is the greatest gift you can give - though we know that to a young person excited about the season of receiving presents, this may not be true! Think something small, inexpensive, and meaningful. One of the best gifts to give is an experience - ice skating, making ornaments, or attending a holiday concert or show together are all activities that continue to build your friendship while also being a little more special. If you get an actual present for your mentee, take into consideration what he or she may be receiving from family members and do not spend more - otherwise, parents or caregivers may end up feeling embarrassed, undermined, and/or resentful.
For program staff, remember to take some time for yourself. As workers in the helping field, we are asked to be givers and supporters year-round. Balance demands for the increased level of giving now with time for you that includes activities to help you relax and let go, like getting a massage or sitting quietly in a calm space. Prepare yourself for events by getting enough sleep, eating healthy food, and managing all the details well ahead of time. Accept gifts from mentors, mentees, and other supporters with an open heart - you definitely deserve it considering all the work you do!
Remember that this can be a stressful time for many of the mentees we work with, whether you're a volunteer mentor or program staff member. Expectations for having a loving family, receiving lavish and personal gifts, and being able to be generous to others may not be met for a family that is struggling financially, emotionally, and dynamically. The messages about gifts and spending holiday time together from the media and friends may not be realistic for many, and this impact can be greater for children and youth. Disappointment and hurt are all possible, no matter what situation a family is currently in. Stay positive and understanding if a mentee is having a hard time during the next few weeks and remind them of their own strengths and future - change is possible!

If you're a professional helper, consider attending the Helper Self-Care: Preventing Burnout, Compassion Fatigue, and Vicarious Traumatization workshop being offered at our upcoming 12th annual youth mentoring conference, Share What You Know: Collaboration and Networking in Youth Mentoring in January. You'll learn more tips on how to keep effective boundaries, set realistic expectations, and practice ways to take care of yourself as you manage the daily stress involved with working with a challenging population.

Stress Management Workshop at Friends for Youth

2010-12-01T16:23:00.000-08:00

On the evening of November 18th, Friends for Youth held a Life Skills workshop in Stress Management at its offices, lead by Youth and Family Enrichment Services presenter S. B. Five Friendships attended, along with staff members Rebecca Duran and Jonathan Cowgill.

Friendships talked to each other about how their weeks were going and tried to identify major stressors and methods of coping with that stress. After everyone shared their particular gripes for the week, S. B. spoke about the dangers of allowing stress to build up and get out of hand. Junior Friends came up with a definition for depression, and S. B. talked about what to do if yourself or a friend is exhibiting signs of depression.

Finally, S. B. spoke about the dangers of suicide (death), how to prevent it (talk about it), how to seek help (call the Crisis Hotline at 650-579-0350) and when to report it (always: a mad friend is better than a dead friend).

Overall, the event was informative and engaging. Everybody participated, everybody learned something, and everybody ate pizza!

Friends for Youth Fashion Show Fundraiser December 4, 2010

2010-11-23T16:30:00.000-08:00

Due to the generosity of Nordstrom in providing the venue, fashions, and refreshments, all proceeds go to support Friends for Youth in screening, matching, and supporting volunteer mentors and youth-in-need. In the past, Friendships have captivated the audience with their personal stories of the impact they have made on each other's lives. We're looking forward to more honest and moving accounts from Friendships this year! Learn more.

Esthefania & Dianna (above) and Eunice & Paulette (below) spoke last year.

Mentor Tip of the Week

2010-11-18T16:48:00.000-08:00

Talk about what you're thankful for and do something for someone else. That could be doing volunteer work (serving meals on Thanksgiving? visiting the elderly?), raking leaves or walking a dog for a neighbor, or bringing something homemade to a friend (pumpkin pie? pumpkin muffins? pumpkin cookies? or something you like to make that they would enjoy). Have fun!

We went to the zoo - how about you?

2010-11-16T10:36:00.000-08:00

On Saturday November 13^th, five mentoring friendships and two Friends for Youth staff volunteered at the San Francisco Zoo. The November day was sunny and warm, a seaside breeze wisping through the grounds. The Friends for Youth team was assigned to a very special project: designing and painting Holiday present boxes for the animals.

During the holiday season the Zoo likes to get its animals involved in the giving spirit. They put presents of bones and other animal-friendly fare inside festively painted cardboard boxes. Then they place these gifts inside the animals’ habitats for them to peck, paw, slash, pounce, spring, rip, claw and ultimately enjoy.

The Friends for Youth team created seven brightly painted gift-boxes for the animals. There were Christmas-themed boxes, Giants-themed boxes, a Kwanzaa-themed box, and other, more abstract, brightly painted gift boxes.

Everyone had fun setting up their paint stations, painting their boxes and cleaning up their stations afterwards. One Friendship got doused with water when the hose they were using to wash out a paint bucket went wild. Afterwards, everyone got snacks and a free ride on the San Francisco Zoo’s real Steam Engine.

My Mentoring Story (A Series by Friends for Youth Staff)

2010-11-15T12:18:00.000-08:00

Rebecca’s Story.

No one says my name the way Tia Maria Elena does. She always stresses the second syllable more than most people and says it through a combination of her native Salvadorian accent, by way of French, spoken in English. And she always says it through laughter.

Though my aunt lives 3,000 miles away, it has never stopped her from being my mentor and lifelong friend. My Tia Maria Elena has always maintained that Canada’s cold winters are unbearable, and so she found a great way to survive. Most winters she would come stay with my family in California -- usually for a few months at a time. In those times I was her little sidekick. She liked to explore and go on adventures, and I just liked spending time with her. These were among the greatest memories of my childhood.

Growing up I was an only child, but when Tia Maria Elena would come visit, I always had a roommate. It was so much fun having her around. No matter the occasion we’d laugh our heads off. My dad always made jokes about how his sister could not stop herself from laughing, and despite his serious demeanor her laughter was contagious – even to him. She made everyone around her happier.

In May of 1990, accompanied by my family, I made my first trip to Canada for the celebration of my aunt’s wedding. My 10th birthday was a few days before the wedding, and I remember feeling so special when my aunt made a big to-do for my birthday – a birthday that I assumed would go uncelebrated with all the wedding festivities. I still have the cake top from that birthday celebration.

The following summer I returned to Canada, but this time on my own. It was the first of many solo trips to spend time with my aunt, along with my uncle and eventually my cousin. I was witness to my aunt’s love of gardening, cooking, and entertaining. She would let me help with tasks like growing dahlias, making quiche, and planning and executing parties; tasks that I continue to practice with the hope of one day mastering. During these summers together my aunt listened when I was at an age at which I felt no one was listening. She shared who she was and who she’d become, all the while helping me find my own path. Spending time with my aunt and her family and friends shaped who I am today.

The summer when I was 15 was another one spent in Canada. By this time my aunt had me learning French and loving it. She was so patient and encouraging as I totally botched my newest language. My aunt and her family took me on a driving trip through New England and introduced me to Boston. Three years later I enrolled at Boston University.

In college, every Thanksgiving, instead of making the long trip back to California, my aunt would insist that I come to Canada. She would cook a big American Thanksgiving just for me. This is significant because Canadian Thanksgiving is in October, so despite having already celebrated the holiday, my aunt would repeat the whole event. She’d even invite all my favorite people from past visits to join us at the table.

My aunt did not only teach me how to really laugh and have fun, but also how to have grace and fortitude in times of great sorrow. One might think that in times of tragedy there is no room for laughter, but in fact with my aunt there was. There was laughter and joy in recalling the best memories of those we’ve lost.

Last month my aunt came to visit – and of course stayed for a while – and brought a suitcase full of laughter! She was here to celebrate my wedding, and though her birthday fell the day before the party, I made sure her birthday wasn’t overlooked. Since there are so few birthdays we get to spend together, we’ve got to laugh it up and make the most of the ones we have.

Mentor Tip of the Week

2010-11-11T14:16:00.000-08:00

Take a walk and watch some birds or planes. Try the Baylands in Palo Alto or Coyote Point in San Mateo. Have fun!

12th Annual Mentoring Conference Planning

2010-11-08T14:53:00.000-08:00

Friends for Youth's Mentoring Institute is busy with final planning details for the 12th Annual Mentoring Conference, Share What You Know: Collaboration and Networking in Youth Mentoring. On Thursday, January 27, and Friday, January 28, 2011, youth mentoring professionals from around the country and the world gather together in Redwood Shores at the Oracle Conference Center to hear experts present their work in Best Practices, youth development, technology innovations, and with special populations.

How does the conference come to be what it is? I thought it might be interesting to give a behind-the-scenes tour of what goes into planning for the largest Friends for Youth annual event.

Starting immediately after the last conference, all staff gather together to debrief about what worked, what didn't, what would be good to try next year. This is an invaluable process and helps us deliver a smooth-running event that gets better each time. Everything from registration check-in to food to workshop topics is discussed and assessed for future conferences. Then, as the Program Director and coordinator of the conference, I spend a few months thinking about a theme, topics, keynote speakers. Starting in early summer, I begin to secure our sites. Oracle has been a generous Presenting Sponsor for the past six years, allowing us to use one day at their beautiful Oracle Conference Center. While we very much appreciate that we could never afford their incredible space, support, and catering without sponsorship, it does present a dilemma: where should we hold the first day of pre-conference courses? And where will attendees from out of town sleep? And why isn't there anything that fits these two needs within a mile of Oracle?

Thus, we often hold Thursday's sessions at another location that meets many criteria: close to Oracle, enough meeting room and guest sleeping room space, professional ambiance, and, most importantly, the lowest prices available for non-profit attendees! This process often takes several months and even several years to develop the best relationships with companies who can best meet our needs.

During this time, I'm working out the theme and contracting with our team of incredible designers from rise-and-shine studios in San Francisco. Once they deliver our graphics, I tackle all the other details: schedule, keynote and workshop presenters, topics, and descriptions. Save the Date announcements start during the summer, as many attendees have to plan their schedules and budgets far in advance of the actual conference. Herding presenters is sometimes a challenging process: with their own busy lives and responsibilities, it can take longer than anticipated to get all of the final details in place. I often go through a list of five or six possible keynote speakers before finding the one who is a good fit and can make the date!

Once we're at this point, D'Arcy, our web mistress extraordinaire, takes my plans for online information and registration and converts them into easy-to-use and accessible interfaces on our web site. Once we've tested and retested (and retested) to make sure there are no glitches in the process, I announce that registration is open and attendees start signing up! This does not mean, however, that my job is done: there's still more marketing, coordination, and decision-making that has to happen before the beginning of January. Not to mention designing and printing programs, ordering give-aways for attendees, making nametags, and organizing all the materials to go on site on the days of the conference.

Friends for Youth has an incredible staff who are always willing to pitch in and help with various tasks and provide an enormous amount of helpful feedback both before, during, and after the conference. Putting on the conference is truly a village effort!

I hope you'll consider joining us for two days in January to experience the results of nearly a year's worth of planning, developing, and implementing our vision of the second best way to create quality mentoring relationships for youth who need them most - by assisting more programs to develop safe and effective programs! See you at the conference!

Maribel's Mentoring Story

2010-11-01T13:34:00.000-07:00

High School: many people love it and others hate it. In my experience, I would say I was right in the middle. Since I can remember I have always loved school and learning; however, high school I really didn’t care too much about. If it wasn’t for my friends and some wonderful teachers, I would have completely hated it. One of these wonderful teachers was my freshman year English teacher. Even though she was only my teacher for one year, she constantly checked on me through out my four years there.

Ms. Vasquez was more than a teacher to me; she was a friend. She encouraged me to challenge myself everyday, be that in school or life in general. She taught me to look at problems and challenges as learning experiences. One of my fondest memories was how she would, for periods of time, speak to me only in French, knowing that I didn’t speak or understand a word of French. The amazing thing was that by the end of my four years there I was able to understand almost everything she would say to me. Learning new languages doesn’t come naturally to me but I enjoy it; however writing has never been my cup of tea and back then I would stress over the fact that I was not writing as well as my peers. Ms. Vasquez was able to make me realize that I had plenty of other strengths, and not to worry about it if writing was not one of them. She would tell me to focus on my strengths and not to on my weaknesses. “No one is good at everything, but everyone is great at something.”

Kite Making 2010!

2010-10-27T10:53:00.001-07:00

Last night, four Friendships came to the Friends for Youth offices to make their own kites! Friends for Youth provided some basic materials and a few designs, but the sky was the limit for these creatively curious kite makers.

Some chose to make simple designs that they then decorated with elaborate patterns or garish announcements (for example: "Go Giants!"), while others focused on crafting a strong kite from a more complicated design.

And, as indicated by the picture, a few of the kites doubled well as surprisingly stylish hats!

The 4th Annual Friends for Youth Fashion Show

2010-10-18T16:01:00.000-07:00

This winter's Friends for Youth Fashion Show will be held on Saturday, December 4th from 10 a.m. to 1 p.m. at Nordstrom in Palo Alto. The show features a silent auction, a champagne brunch and, of course, the wonderful fashion show hosted by Norstrom's own Personal Touch Director.

Friends for Youth has hosted the fashion show now for four years. It has become an exceptional way to kick off the holiday giving season for the Peninsula's fashionably inclined. The silent auction features tasteful gifts that are already wrapped and ready for holiday giving, and the fashion show provides all kind of chic ideas for gifting shoppers.

Reserve your place at this enjoyable morning event today!

My Mentoring Story (A Series by Friends for Youth Staff)

2010-10-11T17:16:00.000-07:00

My earliest mentor was an artist named Esme Bradberry who lived up the street from my family. She would open her tiny studio in her backyard to a few neighborhood kids and let us do whatever we wanted. Esme gave a few pointers and demonstrated some techniques, but for project ideas, she let us take the lead, offering only words of encouragement. My mom and dad still have some of my art from that time: painted plaster casts of toothpaste tubes inscribed with Silly String, glazed ceramic containers with no practical purpose, and many, many painted pet rocks. Later, in middle and high school, I was taught art by Karen DeMichael, an artist and art teacher, who continued to provide a guiding framework (sometimes quite literally) and let me be creative. Struggling with social relationships during that time, I found solace in the art room and with her open and accepting approach for everyone who want to make art. I also found comfort from her personal connection to me and support of my creativity.

Bay Area author and filmmaker Phil Cousineau, a keynote speaker at Friends for Youth's 2006 annual mentoring conference, describes mentors as "mind-makers," those who help others decide for themselves their path in life. This differentiates mentors from parents, teachers, relatives, and peers who each have important, specific roles and responsibilities of their own. One specific experience with Karen made it clear she was really a mentor and not just a teacher or even like a parent to me. For my senior year Advanced Placement Art portfolio, she let me pursue a project that, in hindsight, was pretty awful, lacking creativity and leaving the impression that I hadn't learned anything in that class. I did not receive AP credit for that class solely because of that project but she never told me I couldn't do it. She tried to work with me to add to it, change it, embellish it in some way to make it a better representation of my talents, but, in the end, let me do it my way. My parents, however, were concerned about my performance in all classes and I'm sure part of why I wanted to carry on was because of their response.

These experiences with Esme and Karen had many impacts on me, influencing my choice of career as an artist and art therapist, my belief in the power of creative expression, and my strong support of mentoring young people. I know that I must pass it on, helping another young person know that he or she can go from a ceramic cup (pictured above, circa 1979) to the Mentoring Journal with encouragement, education, practice, and support!

The 23rd Annual Peninsula Golf Challenge

2010-10-05T11:03:00.000-07:00

After months of tireless organizing, planning, gathering, boxing, and preparing, Friends for Youth hosted the 23rd Annual Peninsula Golf Challenge at Sharon Heights Golf Course on Monday, October 4th.

Over 100 golfers showed up to support Friends for Youth. More than 15 volunteers assisted in the day's festivities. And although the day started cold and cloudy, by early afternoon the sun had come out to stay.

As in years past, the charity tournament was hosted by Hooked on Golf's Mitch Juricich. Mitch oversaw favorite activities like the Deck of Cards Raffle, the Live Auction and individual pledges. Separately, four volunteer Friendships did their own bit of fund-raising for Friends for Youth, selling prize balloons to the golfing guests. This is a perennial favorite, since each customer must to pop his or her balloon to discover the prize inside!

After a steak dinner, silent and live auctions, speeches by Junior Friends and Executive Director Becky Cooper, and final golf tournament prizes, the daylong festivities came to a successful end. Now we all just have to wait for next year!

My Mentoring Story (A Series by Friends for Youth Staff)

2010-09-27T11:21:00.000-07:00

D'Arcy's Story:

I got a degree in Literature from Pitzer College but was drawn to the Arboretum. I spent five summers in addition to parts of the year in the native gardens there. In part, it was a way to balance out all the time I spent sitting and reading. But another major reason was a mentor, professor John Rodman, who was the director of the Arboretum. He had degrees from Harvard in Political Science and was self-taught in Environmental Studies. He was not afraid to learn, to try something new, and encouraged me to do the same. I was never a sporty, athletic type but he put trowels, saws, and pick axes in my hand. He taught me to use a chipper. We dug trenches, turned compost, planted, trimmed, and took out non-native plants. We put in and repaired irrigation. We worked starting at 6am some days in the summer because by noon it was 105 degrees.—I never drank so much water and sweated it all away!—And I have never learned so much. Oh, the classes and other professors at Pitzer were great too. But John was someone who took me out of my box, who taught me that there was more to me than I had known.

My Mentoring Story (A Series by Friends for Youth Staff)

2010-09-20T09:30:00.000-07:00

Kristen's Story.

I can credit many great influences on my life, many people who have stood as mentors to me. I am very blessed to have had a loving and supportive home in which my parents looked after my well being and did their best to guide and direct me. I have had a few great teachers in my many years in school that have undoubtedly influenced my very perception of reality and thus provided some mentorship, with or without their full knowledge of the impact they have had on me. To narrow this entry to outline just one is truly a challenge for me, but in my effort to keep on topic, I’ll speak of a mentor who very specifically saw something in me worth fostering and continues to be my confidant, teacher, and dear friend.

I came to know Mrs. Jeri Fujimoto through my work at the City of San Carlos; or rather, she came to know me first in hiring me. I was working at a local salon, recent graduate from the community college’s Cosmetology program, and freshly licensed for fabulousness. As it turns out, being trained to become a master colorist (aka mixing color for NYC industry legends and sweeping hair up) doesn’t pay all that well, especially in the face of paying off school loans. I was looking for a supplemental income, a part time job close to home and other work. A friend recommended a position as a recreation leader at what I would come to call my second home, the San Carlos Youth Center. Working with youth came natural to me; I was raised in a home that was also a day care, ran by my mother.

My & Jeri’s relationship was one typical of subordinate and superior at first; moreover, I feared her. She would not accept less than 100% and was quick to tell you when you were slacking. This management quality coupled with a sense that this lady put up with no one’s crap kept me at arm’s length to her and preferably on her “good side.” It didn’t take long to know that this lady was in the business of improving the lives of youth, but wasn’t for years till I came to have a full appreciation for who this lady is and what her primarily goal with her staff was.

What makes Jeri an amazing mentor was first what makes her an amazing leader; her vision. She imagined a safe and well maintained place for all youth to come and grow in. She led the pack on incorporating the 41 Developmental Assets into her programming and all other elements of Youth Development she had her hands on (lots too!). Furthermore, she saw her staff and youth commissioners as the ambassadors and future leaders of this vision and movement. Jeri made it her priority to not only set the standards in her field but to also ensure that through working under her, she fostered the skill and urgency for her work to continue past her time. It became clear to me that she was interested in all Youth Development, and wanted this to reach legislature as an urgent and important topic.

Now the more personal side of things… I worked under Jeri and her cohorts in every youth avenue at the City for more than eight years, four moves, three family deaths and one parent’s move out of state. She acted as a second mother to me in my scholastic, personal, health and romantic crises. She encouraged my experience in different programs and I realize now that she was helping me identify my own niche. She saw my desire and passion for helping misguided and underserved youth and she fueled my drive to find a place where I could make a difference for youth in my community ((Friends for Youth!!)).

I realize now more clearly than ever that every time Jeri made me “do it over again” it was because she knew that I could do, be better. Every time she pushed me improve a program, reexamine a budget, or made me explain “why?” I proposed to execute a plan, she did it for my own clarity, skill building and sense of accomplishment. I had never been so proud of my own accomplishments before I worked under her. She made me deserve the credit, own every project and make it undeniably purposeful.

Jeri is my personal and professional mentor. I still check-in with her about major life choices and opportunities. She took the time to get to know me, identify my needs, skills and talents and provide me with the opportunity to improve not only my career path, but myself as a whole. She is the first to sense when I am overwhelmed, and the only person that can speak reason to me at times. She knows my weaknesses and she has always provided me the space to make mistakes, and then help to fix them through guidance and advice. Jeri is my mentor not only because she is a revered and accomplished professional, but because she knows that the only way to make positive change happen is to elicit change in all contributing parties. She made me feel proud and important to the organization I served working three or forty hours a week because she made me understand how crucial the impact of just one person can be on another.

Grantwriting Do's and Don'ts

2010-09-14T16:21:00.000-07:00

In August, I was fortunate to be asked to review proposals for one of the recent federal mentoring grant requests. I found out on a Wednesday that Becky Cooper, our Executive Director, couldn't make it, so after confirming on Thursday, getting my tickets on Friday, and arriving Saturday night, I was in Washington, D.C., ready for six days of reading, thinking, and writing!

This was my first experience as a reviewer for any grant process and I feel very fortunate to have been asked to attend. My overall impression is that as difficult as it seems on the grant-writer side, it is equally as complicated on the grant-creator and grant-reviewer sides. I approached the work with few expectations, though found the time involved in reviewing eight 90-page proposals a lot of work. Assessing each proposal also was complex for me, as I have specific knowledge of mentoring programming that wasn't applicable for reviewing and assessing the proposals. For example, a proposal that assures the federal government 200 mentors would be recruited, screened, trained and matched within six weeks is probably unrealistic (this is an exaggeration, not from an actual proposal - but not by much), but that kind of timeline and outcome was not a consideration for any of the criteria.

From this experience, here's my quick list of Dos and Don'ts when it comes to responding to any RFPs:

Do

Address all the criteria requested
Carefully read criteria requested
Make a case for your program or project
Show how experienced and qualified your staff really is
Explain in simple terms how your program or project fits the criteria
Follow guidelines for formatting
Use local statistics as much as possible

Don't

Include extraneous information - save your space for what's needed!
Misinterpret criteria requested - see above
Assume the reviewers know your community or agency
Plan to hire your family members with this funding
Try to make your program or project fit if it really doesn't
Abuse the guidelines for formatting - irritated reviewers who can't read 6-point font on the budget sheets are not what you want!
Try to allude to national statistics to make the case for your community

I walked away with a more thorough understanding of the federal grants process and a deep appreciation for great grant writers! Be sure to give your grant writer an extra smile or piece of chocolate for all of the hard work involved in his or her job. And good luck with your proposal writing!

My Mentoring Story (A Series by Friends for Youth Staff)

2010-09-07T11:16:00.000-07:00

Jonathan's Story.

Ken was my friend Kyle’s father. He took me and Kyle to practice basketball at a church gym on weekend nights. There he taught me to keep my wrist extended after my shot, to always be down the court first, and to only give up on the ball when it had made it through the net. He had a very calibrated way of speaking that kept you rapt with attentiveness. “Jonathan,” he’d say with a long breath, “you look like a chicken with your elbow out like that. Keep it straight. Follow through.”

At Kyle’s house we played a lot of board games. Ken would sometimes play with us. We played chess, Stratego, Risk, checkers and Monopoly. As with basketball, his lesson around these games was to follow through. If you made a move in chess, it wasn’t for an instant payoff. Rather, it was part of a larger plan that you were trying to execute.

Ken was my mentor for many years and I never realized it. He was the father of my friend, my basketball coach, an intellectual pontificator and a strategic consultant. He was a lawyer, a former football player and he hailed from the South side of Chicago. But what I remember most is that he taught me to follow through.

Sobrato Family Foundation Matching Grant

2010-08-30T09:22:00.000-07:00

Friends for Youth recently received a $28,000 grant from the Sobrato Family Foundation. We must match the initial donation in new or incremental funding from donors. Upon achieving this goal, the Sobrato Family Foundation will donate an additional $29,400. Every dollar we receive brings us closer to this goal.

We are grateful to the Sobrato Family Foundation for this opportunity and appreciate your support in helping us achieve our goal.

You can make a secure online donation or mail a check to Friends for Youth, 1741 Broadway, Redwood City, CA 94063.

Read more about Friends for Youth or our Friendships.

Friends for Youth Saw "Up" In Redwood City!

2010-08-23T13:14:00.000-07:00

I went to see the Disney/Pixar film "Up" with my Junior Friend at the Courthouse Square in Downtown Redwood City last Thursday evening. Including us, Friends for Youth had six friendships come to see this sharp, funny film about the adventures of a crotchety old man and a clumsy little boy.

Before the film started there were all sorts of activities and performances to enjoy. My Junior Friend and I both had our faces painted—he got a big blue dolphin on his cheek with waves that splashed across his nose, and I got a butterfly. Then we watched a Step Team from a local church and a rapper from a nearby Big Brothers Big Sisters chapter perform. As we enjoyed these performances we ate the caramel corn, granola bars and chocolate suckers that Program Coordinator Kristen brought.

Then dusk settled, everybody got comfortable, and we watched the film!

Impressions from the Summer Institute on Youth Mentoring

2010-08-17T12:07:00.000-07:00

The fourth annual Summer Institute on Youth Mentoring at Portland State University lived up to its reputation of offering high-quality researchers as fellows, well-informed colleagues as participants, and, as always, yummy treats from Voodoo Donuts!

This year's theme, on technology in mentoring relationships and programs, became interactive, as participants documented their knowledge journeys online throughout the week using a special platform designed with AmericaLearns. Fellows presented their work on the intersections of youth mentoring and technology, leaving an overall impression that the kind of impact technology has had has actually been not much. As Kevin O'Neill stated, "'E' in e-mentoring does not stand for easy." When programs use technology in connecting mentors and mentees, most of what we already know about what works still applies - people want to meet face-to-face and relationships are enhanced with direct interaction.

However, there may be some interesting implications about how programs can use some technology to improve their services... look for more about this idea in another blog soon!

Balloons, Burgers and Best Friends

2010-08-09T10:57:00.000-07:00

On Sunday Friends for Youth hosted their annual friendship Barbecue picnic at Stafford Park in Redwood City. I was excited to go, both because I had never been to Stafford Park, and because I'd heard there was to be a water balloon toss. I love waterballoons. When I got there, Kristen Kimball, Program Coordinator and barbecue planner, was tying up balloons around two picnic tables, starting up the grill, and just generally creating a festive atmosphere. I hung around and tried to be helpful, mostly by eating some strawberries, until she directed me to fill up some waterballoons for the waterballoon toss. Of Course!, I said. So, as the friendships arrived with their dishes (the event was a potluck), I went to the park bathroom to fill the balloons at the faucet.

I couldn't fit the tiny balloons around the faucet top, and I broke three balloons and got a mouthful of water trying. So I stomped out and announced to everyone that there was no way we could fill up the balloons. It was a very sad moment. But Kristen said yeah right and she took the unfilled balloons from me to go try. Five minutes later she returned with a bag heavy with jiggling waterballoons. What a relief.

There was food: burgers, gardenburgers, hotdogs, pasta salad, potato salad, cookies, cookies, more cookies, Caesar salad, cake, and watermelon. Everybody played games (connect four, jenga, cards), everybody raced (sack race, egg race), and most people got wet in the waterballoon toss. So in all it was a great picnic.

Our new Mentoring Services Program Coordinator

2010-08-03T09:21:00.000-07:00

Even though I was born in Mexico and migrated to the USA when I was eight years old, I still consider myself a product of the Bay Area. As an immigrant child, I grew up in a place that is not considered to be safe and was repeatedly told that I was not going to make anything of myself. From this personal experience, I can truly say that if it wasn’t for great role models in my life I would not be the person that I am today. For this reason, I am super excited to be joining an organization that dedicates its efforts to providing great role models for children that have all the odds stack against them, just like I did when I was growing up.

Prior to joining Friends for Youth, I was the program coordinator for the Peninsula Clergy Network. As the program coordinator, it was my duty to connect civic/community leaders and clergy, as well as to manage ongoing projects that benefitted the community. I have also served as an AmeriCorps member in the Education Department of Our City Forest, a San Jose environmental organization. This position gave me the chance to visit different schools in Santa Clara County and teach K-12 children about the benefits and importance of an Urban Forest.

Volunteer Appreciation Event

2010-08-02T17:31:00.000-07:00

We recently held a volunteer appreciation event--an evening at a local pub to thank and celebrate our volunteers--mentors, board members, golf committee members, and other volunteers who help us help youth reach their full potential. New mentors chatted with mentors who had been matched for a while, getting advice and encouragement. (Mentoring is an investment and the influence of a mentor is not usually immediately apparent.) Mentors talked with and thanked Darren, who volunteers to take the professional photographs of our Friendships. (It's such a fun experience for the mentors and mentees to be photographed in the GAP studio.) Many stories were told and mentees were quoted. They express the importance of mentors in their lives more powerfully than anyone. Here are a few:
“Thank you for being in my life and not judging me from the start. Thank you for being there when I needed someone to listen to me.”

“I have noticed changes in myself since meeting with Mentor. I’m making better choices for myself now. She is a big help, I give her a lot of credit.”

"I would want to be a mentor to a youth when I’m older because of what he has done for me. He has turned me around. I would want to help a kid one day get on the right road."

Technology & Youth Mentoring Programs

2010-07-25T22:34:00.000-07:00

As a follow-up to our last annual conference, Youth Mentoring 2.0: Impacts of Technology on Programs and Relationships, and as a prelude to the 2010 Summer Institute on Youth Mentoring at Portland State University focusing on a similar theme, we’re interested in hearing from youth mentoring programs about how they’re using technology and, more specifically, social media and networking within youth services.

If you're staff from a youth mentoring program, take the survey here and add your experience to our report! There is an option at the very end to submit your name to be entered in a raffle prize - $100 in resources from Friends for Youth’s Mentoring Institute (including products or conference registration) or a $25 gift card to Amazon.

Survey closes on August 10, 2010 so don’t delay – take the survey now!

The results will be reported in August during the first of our Mentoring Institute's new monthly FREE Webinar series highlighting important topics for youth mentoring programs.

Social Media and Mentoring: Policies, Gaps, Boundaries
Tuesday, August 17, 2010
10:00 – 11:30 am PDT

Go to the Webinar information page for more details and to register online for this FREE training. After registering you will receive a confirmation email containing information about joining the Webinar.

System Requirements
PC-based attendees - Required: Windows® 7, Vista, XP, 2003 Server or 2000 Macintosh®-based attendees - Required: Mac OS® X 10.4.11 (Tiger®) or newer

Peninsula Golf Challenge October 4

2010-07-19T11:01:00.000-07:00

The Peninsula Golf Challenge is a vital source of support for Friends for Youth. Just as Friends for Youth is committed to excellence in programming for at-risk youth, we strive to make the Peninsula Golf Challenge a prestigious event for our supporters. Limiting the playing field, monitoring the pace of play, assigning Scorekeepers to each group, and providing generous Tee Prize packages are a few of the ways that we stand out. Dinner, awards ceremony, and silent and live auctions follow 18 holes at the beautiful Sharon Heights Golf and Country Club. Let us know if you're interested in being a sponsor or prize donor. You can learn more about playing or register online. We hope to see you October 4, 2010!

Our new Mentoring Services Recruitment Specialist

2010-07-12T17:11:00.000-07:00

I am thrilled to be working here at Friends for Youth! Originally from Minneapolis, I have lived in D.C., London, Tacoma and Wyoming. I’ve loved the places I’ve lived, but it’s exciting to learn about a new metropolitan area, especially one as vibrant and diverse as the Bay. As a citizen, I am most concerned about how our national policy affects the most needy in this country. So working with Friends for Youth will help me understand the problems that at-risk youth face everyday. I believe in the importance of ending poverty in America, and I hope my work at Friends for Youth will help!

Junior Friend Visit

2010-07-06T13:58:00.000-07:00

Junior Friend Iliana dropped by our office the other day with the news that she had gotten all A's in her college courses last semester. She was also thrilled to have been given an"Oustanding Student" award. She talked enthusiastically about her plans for a nursing degree, as well as her family and her part-time work. She was matched in 2003 and remains in touch with her Senior Friend, Jennifer.

What's New in Volunteer Screening?

2010-06-29T16:43:00.000-07:00

Recently, I've had the opportunity to lead several in-person and web-based trainings on screening volunteers using an updated version of our classic training based on SAFE (Screening Applicants for Effectiveness): Guidelines to Prevent Child Molestations in Mentoring and Youth-Serving Organizations. MENTOR/National Mentoring Partnership collaborated with us in April, this month I worked with the Iowa Mentoring Partnership and led trainings for new YouthBuild U.S.A. mentoring programs, and in August, I'll be leading another webinar with the Mentoring Partnership of Minnesota. So, what's new? Unfortunately, what's not new is the necessity to have a stringent screening process. There are still people out in the world who intend to do harm to young people by having inappropriate relationships with and sexually abusing them. Each week brings more news about adults in trusted positions (see recent articles on the Boy Scouts of America) who violate boundaries with children and youth in their charge. We have been providing SAFE training now for 5 years, reaching over 500 youth-serving and mentoring programs who now use our resource in developing their guidelines. Standards have definitely improved over the years and I'm pleased to say that I hear more program staff say that the training validates what they're already doing rather than making them panic about what they're not doing! Several key points have been updated over the years:

Adding Internet searches ("Googling" a potential volunteer) to the application process
Having more access to public information on criminal history and records (see the Dru Sjodin National Sex Offender Registry)
The Diana Screen - a new tool to help strengthen a program's application process by identifying individuals who are a sexual risk to children

State laws are still confusing when it comes to criminal histories and sometimes they contradict national standards. We always emphasize - and this is validated by these contradictions, delays in postings, and general mix-ups of information - that a background check is not the most important part of the application process. Using your informed intuition, or the sense of observing your gut feelings about a person combined with the objective information from application materials, will be the most critical factor. Check out the webinar sponsored by MENTOR/National Mentoring Partnership and look for our schedule of webinars covering this topic in more depth soon!

Donate Now and Your Gift Will Be Matched!

2010-06-21T13:21:00.000-07:00

You can make a difference in the lives of at-risk youth by supporting Friends for Youth and now is a great time to donate!

We have 45 boys and 33 girls waiting to be matched with mentors. Our Mentoring Services team interviews these young people, recruits volunteers, interviews and trains them, then makes and supports the Friendships.

Our Mentoring Institute shares knowledge from our 31 years of experience as well as current research on mentoring with agencies that want to start or improve their programs.

Support Friends for Youth now and your donation will essentially double. Thanks to a matching grant from the Sobrato Family Foundation, once we raise $25,000 in new or incremental funding from donors, we will receive an additional $25,000. Thanks to the Sobrato Foundation and all of our supporters!

Friends for Youth bowling for fun

2010-06-14T11:26:00.000-07:00

What do bowling, pizza, arcade games, and waitlisted Junior Friends have in common? They all converged last week for a special activity designed to support youth who are waiting to be matched in the Friends for Youth program!

Youth from Santa Clara and San Mateo Counties enjoyed unlimited bowling and pizza in an evening filled with high-fives, strikes, and a few spares. Friends for Youth is eager to match each of these youth with a mentor soon.

If you’d like to do things like go bowling, hiking, visit a museum, or play board games with a young person who needs a positive adult in their life, then you should become a mentor today! We invite you to attend an Information Session to learn more about mentoring with Friends for Youth.

Special thanks to the Columbia Neighborhood Center for co-hosting this fun and safe event.

GAP Photo Activity

2010-06-07T12:14:00.000-07:00

Thanks to Darren Ferreira for volunteering to photograph Friendships again last Saturday. We so appreciate his time and talent and the wonderful photographs we have thanks to him!

What's Important in Mentor Training?

2010-06-02T12:13:00.001-07:00

Lately, I've been providing Mentor Training for a few organizations whose mentors are just beginning their commitments. In providing this training, I find out from the program staff what important aspects of mentor training are most important to cover (and how much time I have!). The Mentoring Institute has offered this training to a number of agencies over the years and we believe we have a solid foundation that can apply to any kind of mentoring program whether the minimum commitment is for two years or three months. (Usually when the mentoring relationship is less than a school or calendar year, I encourage programs to call their volunteers something else, like coaches or apprentice mentors - the shorter time period can dilute the definition of mentoring that we advocate when it comes to formal programs for youth.) So, what's important? Here's a selection of what we believe needs to be included:

Mentoring Basics - defining mentoring, having participants reflect on their own mentoring relationships, outlining the potential impacts, and giving a theoretical framework
Youth Development and Cultural Considerations - explaining the Search Institute's 41 Developmental Assets and how mentoring can positively impact them, listing (and personally remembering!) the stages of adolescence, and considering a few important cultural competencies and, again, how them might affect a mentoring relationship
Key Skills for Mentoring - explaining and practicing realistic expectations, setting limits and boundaries, active listening, and motivation
Roles & Responsibilities - provided specifically by the host program so that mentors clearly understand their own boundaries and what they're supposed to do and what can get them terminated from the program

Role plays are crucial to Mentor Training, especially if they're not done like the usual workplace role play - have some fun and help participants feel comfortable and safe to explore responses. While I was working directly with mentors and mentees in our program, I constantly heard from mentors about the scenario we used in training that actually happened! (Usually, they said they flashed back to the training session and would try to remember the advice we offered, sometimes with success and sometimes not, but always they remembered enough to move through that difficult situation.) Two of the most common scenarios I use for almost every program are:

Establishing communication and meeting habits ("Your mentee is not returning your telephone calls/responding to emails or voice mails or texts")
Working through a difficult situation that involves significantly more trust in the mentor to reveal what is really happening with the mentee ("Your mentee started to open up about what's going on at home/at school/with friends" or "Your mentee is saying that everything is fine, but you're not sure/hearing from program staff it's not/suspicious that there is something really bothering him or her")

One or both of these scenarios happen in so many youth mentoring relationships and giving mentors a chance to practice how to respond before they've even interacted with their mentees can not only help them but also reduce staff time in responding to these situations. Empowering your mentors to solve problems will also help them role model solving problems to their mentees. Finally, if it's applicable to a program's focus and if the mentors and mentees having been meeting for awhile, I like to look at any creative work produced by the mentees and practice "listening"with the mentors to what their mentees are expressing through another outlet besides words. A great example is using activity pages from the Mentoring Journal, whether produced one-on-one with a mentor or in a group.

The First Exposures program in San Francisco (where I was a mentor back in my early 20's) invites me in halfway through the year to review photographs and writings from the students. All mentors in attendance get to contribute their thoughts and observations to arrive at solutions to obstacles a particular mentor is facing or perhaps just to positively reinforce the work they've done together.

What do you consider important in mentor training?

Friends for Youth Offered Matching Grant

2010-05-24T17:31:00.000-07:00

If you knew your individual donation could actually be worth $25,000 to Friends for Youth, would you consider making a donation?

Friends for Youth has the opportunity to receive a matching grant from the Sobrato Family Foundation. We must raise $25,000 in new or incremental funding from donors. Upon achieving this goal, the Sobrato Family Foundation will donate an additional $25,000.

For 31 years we have served the at-risk youth in our community. We know that our success in providing long-term, one-to-one mentors and activities to over 1,770 youth with a 90% success rate would not have been possible without the support of individuals like you.

We are grateful to the Sobrato Family Foundation for this opportunity and appreciate your support in helping us achieve our goal.

Recent findings about adolescent brain development explored at local conference

2010-05-18T15:16:00.000-07:00

Friends for Youth was among those in attendance at the 13th Annual Northern California Tobacco, Alcohol, Drug, School Wellness & Youth Development Conference for Educators, held at U.C. Berkeley earlier this month, where conference keynote Ken Winters, Ph.D., explained emerging research about how the human brain is not fully developed until about age 25 and how this impacts adolescent choices.

“The teen brain is developing in a certain way that it likes excitement way above logic,” Winters said during his “This is Your Brain on Adolescence” presentation.

Winters also reviewed research on the effects of drug use on the developing brain, a very new area of science.

The conference included much information that can inform Friends for Youth’s work with youth, including the development of Life Skill Workshops for Senior and Junior Friends.

Other conference workshops included:
• Marijuana and Drug Prevention Strategies,
• The Body Positive: A New Look At Weight, Health and Self-esteem,
• Preventing Bullying and Creating Community, and
• Alcohol: Why We Drink and Why Teens & Young Adults Are More At Risk For Alcohol Abuse and Alcoholism.

Why It Matters To Link Research with Practice

2010-05-10T15:52:00.000-07:00

I just heard that the Summer Institute on Youth Mentoring has received nearly three times as many practitioner applications for the number of spaces they have open for this July! It's exciting to hear the growing interest in research coming from the program side - from the growing trend of Evidence-Based Practices to the always important need to share results with funders, research can help improve policies and practices without agencies needing to try everything themselves. And it looks like research may be having an impact in looking at what works (or really, what gets funded) from federal monies.

Last week, I attended a fascinating Regional Listening Session in San Francisco sponsored by a collaborative of 12 federal agencies designed to gather input to inform the development of an overarching strategic plan for federal youth policy. Once there, they asked our group of about 40 attendees from various organizations and settings to answer the following questions:

What is the single most important thing we could do to make a difference in the lives of youth, related to positive youth development, youth engagement, youth enrichment, and youth mentoring?
What are the needs of youth (10 - 24 years old) related to positive youth development, youth engagement, youth enrichment, and youth mentoring?
What are effective programs and strategies regarding positive youth development, youth engagement, youth enrichment, and youth mentoring? Are there program or policy gaps?
Do specific populations of youth have disproportionately poorer outcomes related to topics we have addressed? What are some ways to best serve them?
What programs really make a difference in the lives of youth? How do you know this?
What are barriers to collaborating on youth outcomes and how can these barriers be removed?
What types of initiatives could promote collaboration and improve outcomes for youth?
What can be done for all youth (not just those directly benefiting from program) in order to use resources effectively?
What are your ideas for federal policy to improve coordination, effectiveness, and efficiency of programs affecting youth?

As you can imagine, there was a lot to say! I was heartened to hear so many attendees talk about the need for a caring and supportive adult in the lives of youth and how that single intervention can make so much of a difference. One attendee summed it up nicely: "I've never heard a young person say, 'That program made a difference in my life' - they always say, 'That person made a difference in my life.'"

In my responses, I was sure to emphasize quality, standards, screening, and the important link to research. I absolutely emphasized the existence of multiple published studies on youth mentoring in answer to #3 and, for the last question, the need to base RFPs with knowing what works from research.

A recent opinion from the Brookings Institution, Federal Programs for Youth: More of the Same Won't Work, argues for supporting programs with proven interventions at the highest level and less funding for strategies that have moderate or preliminary results with the promise of continued evaluation to decide if they would qualify for the top tier over time. Given the current economic climate and funding for social services either reduced or frozen, they argue that the best "alternative is to use rigorous evidence about 'what works' to evolve these federal efforts into truly effective programs, and to use simulation models, incorporating the best scientific findings, to trace their longer-term effects on participants' life prospects."

Mentoring practitioners know instinctively that mentoring "works." We also know that it doesn't work for every child or adolescent and it doesn't work with every mentor. From the programmatic side, we know as well that not just any program works. Recent efforts in Massachusetts and Minnesota are leading the way to implement the establishment of standards to "raise the quality of mentoring programs." Other statewide partnerships are in favor of "uniform, national standards to identify quality mentoring programs."

As long as these standards are exclusive enough to allow a wide variety of youth mentoring programs to be involved and inclusive enough to focus on the uniqueness of a mentoring relationship, the youth mentoring field - and youth mentees - will benefit greatly.

The Interagency Working Group on Youth Programs is seeking your input, too! Go to www.FindYouthInfo.gov and click on the Strategic Plan for Youth link on the right. You can enter your replies to the above questions there. They'll also be hosting seven other Listening Sessions around the country - San Francisco was the first - covering topics such as health and wellness, education, juvenile justice, safety, employment, and enrichment.

Opportunities to Improve Your Practice Through Research: 2010 Summer Institute on Youth Mentoring July 26-30, 2010

2010-05-05T11:57:00.000-07:00

This July, for the fourth year in a row, Portland State University will host the Summer Institute on Youth Mentoring. Created by Thomas Keller, Ph.D., the Summer Institute offers a distinctive educational opportunity for experienced mentoring professionals. Participants attend an intensive week-long seminar presenting the latest developments in theory and research on youth mentoring. Sessions are led by prominent and internationally recognized research fellows. The aim is a series of highly interactive discussions that provide an in-depth view of the research and examine its implications for program policies and practices. The premise of the institute is that a sustained dialog between experienced professionals and researchers stimulates research with relevance to the field and enhances its translation to practical application.

Ideal participants are those who have several years of experience in the field of youth mentoring and are seeking an advanced level of professional development. They are experienced professionals who hold positions enabling them to influence the training and supervision of staff, the development of program models, and the implementation of service delivery changes based on the latest advances in the field. If you are in a position described here, I highly recommend that you apply – this is a truly unique opportunity for practitioners to interact and influence leading researchers in the youth mentoring field!

Applications are due this Friday, May 7th. To learn more about the Summer Institute and to apply, please visit: http://www.youthmentoring.ssw.pdx.edu/

Friends for Youth’s Mentoring Institute has been a participant at every SIYM so far – to get a real sense of what we learned, check out our summaries of these sessions on the Mentoring Institute section of our web site and click on the Connections newsletter links for Summer 2008 and Summer 2009.

See you in Portland this July!

Advice for Mentors & Mentees

2010-04-26T14:06:00.000-07:00

Words of advice from some of our Junior and Senior Friends after one year of being matched:

For Mentors: “Welcome the Junior Friends into your life. Make them feel as comfortable as possible and try to show them you’re here for them.”

“When scheduling-first put the next visit on a “post it” and then follow up with a phone call the day before.”

“Sometimes the best times are just unplanned, unstructured days when you both can just “present” together.”

"I think the Junior Friend needs to be heard."

For Mentees: "Be flexible and let someone who is trying to help you, gradually be in your life. They can help and it will be fun!”

“Please give the Senior Friend a chance, even if they look nothing like you, that person can relate to you more than what you could imagine. They can help you through the most awful day of your life.”

For Both: "Laugh. Have fun."
"Give it a chance. Take that first step. It’s not what you might think it is."

"Be committed, do the work up front, don’t miss outings, and the bond will develop on its own."

Photographer nominated for volunteer award

2010-04-20T10:26:00.000-07:00

Darren Ferriera, an outstanding professional photographer who has volunteered annually to take pictures of our matches, was recently nominated by Friends for Youth for the Volunteer Center’s 2010 Community Spirit Award. The award is part of National Volunteer Week — April 18 through 24 — celebrations.

Darren has consistently volunteered his time and talent since 2002 to capture the essence of our program with striking and honest photographs of our Friendships. He donates not only his time for the portrait taking, but also the setup for the activity, editing of images, and burning to individual CDs each Friendship gets to keep. These photos are a gift to each Friendship (along with the experience of sitting for a portrait in a professional studio), and also allow Friends for Youth to explain our organization to the community in a direct and personal manner. As a result of Darren’s service, we are able to find and recruit more volunteers to be mentors to the youth-in-need in our program. The wide-ranging impact of Darren’s volunteerism is immeasurable, as his photographs grace our website, annual report, marketing materials, and the walls of our Redwood City office. Friends for Youth could not afford to pay for such professional photography, so his contribution is significant.

Darren’s volunteerism is an example of employee-initiated volunteerism, and as a result, his employer, Gap, Inc., donates its space and equipment to support this annual Friendship Portrait Day. In addition to volunteering his expertise, Darren is also able to bring in financial donations from his employer by participating in Gap’s Money for Time program.

In addition to taking pictures at the annual Gap Studio Portrait Group Activity, Darren also leads Friendships on a tour of his workplace, providing a “real world” office visit so mentees can be introduced to potential careers in the fashion industry. In addition to the obvious careers in modeling and photography, Darren also highlights the many others that are represented at the Gap studio, such as business, marketing, digital editing, information technology, security, etc. This allows mentees to visualize future career opportunities that may be of interest to them.

To date, Darren has photographed 65 Friendships. He has done so because of his support of Friends for Youth’s mission to create quality mentoring relationships for youth who need them most.

A Time to Reflect

2010-04-12T15:46:00.000-07:00

April begins our new fiscal year and with it planning for our annual Mentoring Conference, golf tournament and fashion show fundraisers, activities for current Friendships, and recruiting new mentors for the over 70 young people on our waiting list who want to be matched with mentors. Looking back, we not only met our goals for numbers of young people matched but we also saw the impact of these Friendships.

One mentee said, "“I can now go out and try new things more often. My social skills with people have now come out. I love to meet new people.” One mentor said, "The number of activities that were offered makes is so much easier to plan and find activities we’d both like to share. It has been very helpful. Also I like the fact that the staff follows up with and builds a personal relationship with both mentor and mentee."

Making a difference is why we're here. In addition to our direct service, our Mentoring Conference elicited the following from mentoring professionals: “I’ve been working in the mentoring field for nine years and still learned something today!” “Very motivational and applicable – I was impressed with the presentation and am encouraged to collaborate more with local agencies.” “I appreciated the extra resources that were otherwise foreign to me.”